Post by hoodieprincess on Mar 27, 2008 10:49:47 GMT -5
Okay...Where to start...My brain has been running in circles for days and days now. I am stressed out and see no end in sight. I need to vent but don't even know where to begin...This is gonna be a long one.
So Monday, F sent me a text and asked me to call him when I could. I knew something was wrong but had to wait to call him. I guess his sister had been diagnosed with some form of cancer of the uterus not quite 3 months ago. She hadn't told anyone but her mom and swore her mom to secrecy. It was something she was trying to deal with and get through some sort of treatment without wanting people to know or worry. It was looked at as something she was dealing with but I think there wasn't a sense of urgency. Well, she started getting severe headaches and apparently had started hemorrhaging Friday. They lasted all of 3 days and Monday she passed out at work. F's mom called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital. It was found she now has tumors that have spread to her stomach and lungs. They admitted her to the hospital and she was started on intensive chemo. Good news is she might be home today or tomorrow. But, she's so sick. F is trying so hard to take care of her and I am trying to be supportive but it's difficult.
Then my ex-mother-in-law sent me an e-mail. They finally made arrangements for T to fly down there for spring break. They have him out of school for a day and not even getting his flight back here until 9:00pm the following Sunday when he's supposed to be at school the next day. I seriously don't understand why he waits last minute for this crap but he made me really mad the way he did everything. My ex-sis-in-law then called to make sure I got the e-mails and tried talking to me but it was just awkward and stressful dealing with her. Weird.
THEN...I had to take off work Tuesday. I finally had my doctor's appointments with my regular doc and the surgeon again. The good news was that my tests came back negative for a couple diseases they were checking for (and negative for cancer). My stomach cells showed no sign of prolonged acid exposure like if I had a chronic acid condition. Bad news is, the doc laid on me that they want to do surgery Monday. I tried to ask if we could push it out a little as there is so much else going on at once between work, court, the kids...He said that it really needed to be done sooner rather than later. I think they are concerned that when I do get sick, it just is getting worse and worse. Now I have to worry about getting the insurance company to authorize it. I am stressed. There is so much that means to how the rest of my world operates. I don't even know how I will get T back from the airport as the doc said I'd still have weight restrictions. I could be out of work for as little as a week or as many as 6 weeks. I can't afford that time off! Plus, then comes in the rescheduled court date...Also, I was trying to move. I'd finally gotten out and looked at a few places. I had started to make my mind up on what I wanted. Now, I have to wait. And, who knows how long I will be waiting. Honestly, I won't know until surgery is over if it went good or if it went bad. I won't know until after exactly how long I'll be out. There is so much unkown. I am at my limit here and stretched out so thin. I have no motivation to be at work...I have no motivation to do anything at home. I find myself crying at random all the time...I am lost and don't know what to do right now...
So Monday, F sent me a text and asked me to call him when I could. I knew something was wrong but had to wait to call him. I guess his sister had been diagnosed with some form of cancer of the uterus not quite 3 months ago. She hadn't told anyone but her mom and swore her mom to secrecy. It was something she was trying to deal with and get through some sort of treatment without wanting people to know or worry. It was looked at as something she was dealing with but I think there wasn't a sense of urgency. Well, she started getting severe headaches and apparently had started hemorrhaging Friday. They lasted all of 3 days and Monday she passed out at work. F's mom called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital. It was found she now has tumors that have spread to her stomach and lungs. They admitted her to the hospital and she was started on intensive chemo. Good news is she might be home today or tomorrow. But, she's so sick. F is trying so hard to take care of her and I am trying to be supportive but it's difficult.
Then my ex-mother-in-law sent me an e-mail. They finally made arrangements for T to fly down there for spring break. They have him out of school for a day and not even getting his flight back here until 9:00pm the following Sunday when he's supposed to be at school the next day. I seriously don't understand why he waits last minute for this crap but he made me really mad the way he did everything. My ex-sis-in-law then called to make sure I got the e-mails and tried talking to me but it was just awkward and stressful dealing with her. Weird.
THEN...I had to take off work Tuesday. I finally had my doctor's appointments with my regular doc and the surgeon again. The good news was that my tests came back negative for a couple diseases they were checking for (and negative for cancer). My stomach cells showed no sign of prolonged acid exposure like if I had a chronic acid condition. Bad news is, the doc laid on me that they want to do surgery Monday. I tried to ask if we could push it out a little as there is so much else going on at once between work, court, the kids...He said that it really needed to be done sooner rather than later. I think they are concerned that when I do get sick, it just is getting worse and worse. Now I have to worry about getting the insurance company to authorize it. I am stressed. There is so much that means to how the rest of my world operates. I don't even know how I will get T back from the airport as the doc said I'd still have weight restrictions. I could be out of work for as little as a week or as many as 6 weeks. I can't afford that time off! Plus, then comes in the rescheduled court date...Also, I was trying to move. I'd finally gotten out and looked at a few places. I had started to make my mind up on what I wanted. Now, I have to wait. And, who knows how long I will be waiting. Honestly, I won't know until surgery is over if it went good or if it went bad. I won't know until after exactly how long I'll be out. There is so much unkown. I am at my limit here and stretched out so thin. I have no motivation to be at work...I have no motivation to do anything at home. I find myself crying at random all the time...I am lost and don't know what to do right now...