Post by ionysis on Mar 30, 2008 23:43:33 GMT -5
Today I am going to tell someone else’s story.
My friend L had been seeing a guy for 4 and a half years. he was 30 and she was 29. She is half Arabic and so one side of her family is very conservative. She wants to get married and have a family and was concerned that if her boyfriend D didn’t want to do that then, much as she loved him, she would have to at some point move on to someone else who did want to commit to her.
She took a job out where I live and D followed her to get his own job in a neighboring town to be near her. In February she had a conversation with him basically outlining the above, that she wanted to get married and asking him what his feelings were on the subject. He said that he didn’t want to lose her and that he’d think about it before her 30th birthday in March.
So…on Valentines Day, at work, she gets a phone call from D. he says that he isn’t sure how he feels about everything and that maybe they should take a break from each other. He isn’t ready to get married and doesn’t know what is going on in his life. He has started living with some single guys and enjoying the party lifestyle and wants to explore that a bit further.
So she comes out with us single girl for Valentines Day night instead of the romantic time she planned with her partner. She waits a week before she finally hears from him again. The same line is trotted out and she asks; so where does that leave us exactly? He doesn’t know. She asks when she might be able to see him face to face? He doesn’t know. She says she will be in his town (only an hour’s drive away) next week, could they meet for a coffee and try to get some clarity? He doesn’t know – he’s busy at work right now.
So she waits another week. Eventually she writes to him, as he isn’t picking up his phone and hasn’t answered the 2 text messages she sent. She says that if he won’t speak to her or see her after 4 years together and can’t break up with her to her face after everything they have shared together then she will have to end the relationship by email;. She wishes him the best of luck for his future and signs off.
The next day photos of D and a petite scantily clad blonde appear on Facebook – which all his and her friends have access to. As yet she hasn’t even had the heart to tell most of her friends that they are in limbo / potentially breaking up. She is hurt and disappointed that he could be so inconsiderate.
So a week or so later we girls decide to take her off for a weekend in Thailand for her 30th birthday – which she had dreamed of spending on a romantic weekend away getting engaged to her ex. Before her 30th he texts and calls frequently, uses the old endearments and says he wants to try to catch up with her when she gets back. She is put into a spin again by this. He texts her on her Birthday and she responds. That is the last she hears of him. But in the meantime more photos of him and the blonde go up and they are gazing into each others’ eyes, entwined in a club etc. Once again, she is terribly hurt and upset as she had hoped that maybe his flurry of calls and texts meant he was missing her.
Another week goes by and this weekend, we all go off to a big social event in his town and he is there. She goes up to him and says hello politely and asks him straight out whether the blonde is his new girlfriend. He says yes. She smiles sweetly and wishes him all the best but can’t resist a parting shot about the blonde (“You might want to tell her to get her black roots touched up – they were terribly obvious in those photos).
She retains her dignity (mostly) and walks away serenely.
I, as her friend, am livid.
Not only does this selfish, cowardly scumbag not even have the guts to break up with her to her face after 4 and a half years going out (2 years living together) he replaces her with a new model within weeks (if not overlapped) then posts photos of them together on a public site where all her friends and family can see them before she has even had the chance to tell them she and D are no longer together and without even having the courtesy to inform her that he has a new girlfriend. I am just staggered by the callousness, selfishness and total lack of respect he has displayed to someone he purported to love just mere weeks ago.
My friend L says that one of the things she loved him for was his sweet nature and thoughtfulness….
The more stories I hear like this the more I just think that it is just better to stay single. Human beings are just the most horrendous creatures. I hate living in a world where things like this go on and the people who do this walk away happy as Larry with their lives and themselves leaving devastation in their wake. I so, so, so hope that sometime, somehow the balance is redressed and that cosmic justice packs a knockout punch!
My friend L had been seeing a guy for 4 and a half years. he was 30 and she was 29. She is half Arabic and so one side of her family is very conservative. She wants to get married and have a family and was concerned that if her boyfriend D didn’t want to do that then, much as she loved him, she would have to at some point move on to someone else who did want to commit to her.
She took a job out where I live and D followed her to get his own job in a neighboring town to be near her. In February she had a conversation with him basically outlining the above, that she wanted to get married and asking him what his feelings were on the subject. He said that he didn’t want to lose her and that he’d think about it before her 30th birthday in March.
So…on Valentines Day, at work, she gets a phone call from D. he says that he isn’t sure how he feels about everything and that maybe they should take a break from each other. He isn’t ready to get married and doesn’t know what is going on in his life. He has started living with some single guys and enjoying the party lifestyle and wants to explore that a bit further.
So she comes out with us single girl for Valentines Day night instead of the romantic time she planned with her partner. She waits a week before she finally hears from him again. The same line is trotted out and she asks; so where does that leave us exactly? He doesn’t know. She asks when she might be able to see him face to face? He doesn’t know. She says she will be in his town (only an hour’s drive away) next week, could they meet for a coffee and try to get some clarity? He doesn’t know – he’s busy at work right now.
So she waits another week. Eventually she writes to him, as he isn’t picking up his phone and hasn’t answered the 2 text messages she sent. She says that if he won’t speak to her or see her after 4 years together and can’t break up with her to her face after everything they have shared together then she will have to end the relationship by email;. She wishes him the best of luck for his future and signs off.
The next day photos of D and a petite scantily clad blonde appear on Facebook – which all his and her friends have access to. As yet she hasn’t even had the heart to tell most of her friends that they are in limbo / potentially breaking up. She is hurt and disappointed that he could be so inconsiderate.
So a week or so later we girls decide to take her off for a weekend in Thailand for her 30th birthday – which she had dreamed of spending on a romantic weekend away getting engaged to her ex. Before her 30th he texts and calls frequently, uses the old endearments and says he wants to try to catch up with her when she gets back. She is put into a spin again by this. He texts her on her Birthday and she responds. That is the last she hears of him. But in the meantime more photos of him and the blonde go up and they are gazing into each others’ eyes, entwined in a club etc. Once again, she is terribly hurt and upset as she had hoped that maybe his flurry of calls and texts meant he was missing her.
Another week goes by and this weekend, we all go off to a big social event in his town and he is there. She goes up to him and says hello politely and asks him straight out whether the blonde is his new girlfriend. He says yes. She smiles sweetly and wishes him all the best but can’t resist a parting shot about the blonde (“You might want to tell her to get her black roots touched up – they were terribly obvious in those photos).
She retains her dignity (mostly) and walks away serenely.
I, as her friend, am livid.
Not only does this selfish, cowardly scumbag not even have the guts to break up with her to her face after 4 and a half years going out (2 years living together) he replaces her with a new model within weeks (if not overlapped) then posts photos of them together on a public site where all her friends and family can see them before she has even had the chance to tell them she and D are no longer together and without even having the courtesy to inform her that he has a new girlfriend. I am just staggered by the callousness, selfishness and total lack of respect he has displayed to someone he purported to love just mere weeks ago.
My friend L says that one of the things she loved him for was his sweet nature and thoughtfulness….
The more stories I hear like this the more I just think that it is just better to stay single. Human beings are just the most horrendous creatures. I hate living in a world where things like this go on and the people who do this walk away happy as Larry with their lives and themselves leaving devastation in their wake. I so, so, so hope that sometime, somehow the balance is redressed and that cosmic justice packs a knockout punch!