super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Apr 2, 2008 0:16:44 GMT -5
I don't know why but I'm feeling so angry again lately. I feel sick to my stomach, teeth hurting, angry. I want to scream. Call him and yell at him. Break things. I just don't know how to get it out. I don't think I did go through this anger phase yet.
I really feel like he just sort of broke up with me. Giving me the I'll always love you, I don't know what I want, I'm a chicken shit line. Then he moved on. Bang. He admitted to some crying and being unable to sleep etc., but it seems like once it finally ended he just moved on.
I feel so angry about the way he treated me in the end, and all the crap I put up with in the whole relationship. I feel angry that I wasted ten years on him.
It is not fair that he found someone so quickly and just moved on as if nothing happened. He did not spend even one day single between me and girl #2 and girl #3. It took him one month to start dating this girl (#3). It makes me so angry that he found someone so needy that he could cling to and that would cling to him. Or maybe it's actually a real relationship. And that makes me mad too. Why does he get rewarded for walking out?
I need to scream.
Sorry, this turned into a vent!
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Post by jules on Apr 2, 2008 1:21:58 GMT -5
vent away, babe. you have a right to be angry. own it.
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Post by shattered on Apr 2, 2008 22:18:25 GMT -5
Oh, Super, I can so relate to what you are saying.
And it's NOT fair. No one ever said life is fair, but there are times when it just gets ridiculous.
I wish I had some anger-soothing tips for you, but as you might know from my posts, I am desperately trying to work myself INTO the anger stage to escape the miserable pain, so I really wouldn't know.
I am so, so sorry for what you went through. I've read just about all your posts in the past. I do believe that this anger is healthy, though. I really don't think it will last. Keep us posted on how you are doing on this.
Hugs to you,
Shattered
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Post by sheyd on Apr 3, 2008 9:49:25 GMT -5
Don't soothe the anger, you have things you NEED to get out. Try writing it out - be as nasty as you want (just don't send it!)
Do a little scream therapy (for me that happened a couple times when I was alone in the car). Do what it takes to get it OUT. Punch pillows if you need to. When you have screamed enough, written enough - you will feel more peaceful. Then just let it rest for a bit. Try not to think of it... and when you come back to it you will be able to approach it with a clearer head. It is OK to be angry - just don't let it make you do anything you will regret. And don't try to drink/medicate it away. It will still be there, and then your inhibitions will be lower and you WILL do things you regret!
Shey
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Post by redskyatnight on Apr 4, 2008 17:35:18 GMT -5
Why does he get rewarded for walking out? Those two relationships will fail and he'll be alone. Heck, he's alone now, emotionally. He's using the relationship as a distraction. When the truth settles with him, he won't be rewarded.
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super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Apr 5, 2008 19:41:34 GMT -5
Why does he get rewarded for walking out? Those two relationships will fail and he'll be alone. Heck, he's alone now, emotionally. He's using the relationship as a distraction. When the truth settles with him, he won't be rewarded. Does it make me a bad person if that makes me feel better? I don't really believe it, but I want to.
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Post by shattered on Apr 5, 2008 23:45:58 GMT -5
I don't think it makes you a bad person that that makes you feel better -- I think it makes you human.
As for anger:
<b>"Don't soothe the anger, you have things you NEED to get out. Try writing it out - be as nasty as you want (just don't send it!)
"Do a little scream therapy (for me that happened a couple times when I was alone in the car). Do what it takes to get it OUT. Punch pillows if you need to. When you have screamed enough, written enough - you will feel more peaceful."<b>
That is exactly what I meant. By "anger-sooting tips" I of course did not mean to supress the anger, but whatever it is that makes people deal with the anger. Some people do that my screaming or punching pillows, others by writing it out, yet others by meditation, etc. The result is to have dealt with the anger and feel better, more peaceful afterwards. That is soothing.
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