Post by redskyatnight on Apr 7, 2008 12:29:24 GMT -5
Being alone sucks. Yes, I been dating a guy for over a year now, but he has kids, I have kids, he works weekends, I have my kids every other weekend, so our time together is limited and I don’t know what direction the relationship is going. Anyway, he’s not ready to commit, so I find myself lonely.
I miss having someone to come home to, who you know will be there not matter what, infidelity aside. I miss the company. I miss the sharing of new ideas.
I’ve used a lot of time missing things I used to have and quite a bit of energy fearful that I will never have them again.
I made a decision yesterday and I didn’t even know I was looking for an answer. Strangely, the answer came to me a few minutes after I got home from church.
I feel compelled by forces deep within to act on this new outlook at life. I’m tired of missing everything, so very tired.
Instead of looking at what I miss and what I want, I’m taking care of what I have. I already got the inside of my car detailed last week. I told my boyfriend how much I appreciate him in my life, (although I was a blubbering fool at the time and probably freaked him out a little), and I told my kids how much joy they bring to my life. I also shut down every electronic form of communication except for my main email and the email the school uses. No more inactive dating profiles online, just in case, and I closed the email account associated with those websites.
I’m terrified right now, more of the unknown than anything else. But what I was doing wasn’t working to make me happy, so at this point, what do I have to lose?
I miss having someone to come home to, who you know will be there not matter what, infidelity aside. I miss the company. I miss the sharing of new ideas.
I’ve used a lot of time missing things I used to have and quite a bit of energy fearful that I will never have them again.
I made a decision yesterday and I didn’t even know I was looking for an answer. Strangely, the answer came to me a few minutes after I got home from church.
I feel compelled by forces deep within to act on this new outlook at life. I’m tired of missing everything, so very tired.
Instead of looking at what I miss and what I want, I’m taking care of what I have. I already got the inside of my car detailed last week. I told my boyfriend how much I appreciate him in my life, (although I was a blubbering fool at the time and probably freaked him out a little), and I told my kids how much joy they bring to my life. I also shut down every electronic form of communication except for my main email and the email the school uses. No more inactive dating profiles online, just in case, and I closed the email account associated with those websites.
I’m terrified right now, more of the unknown than anything else. But what I was doing wasn’t working to make me happy, so at this point, what do I have to lose?