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Post by soupnazi on Sept 30, 2008 23:33:31 GMT -5
I hate to even come on this board tonight, griping, but I feel like I have to get this off my chest.
It's been a weird week. I haven't thought of my ex in a long time, and that's been good.
Thing is, I have thought about her alot this week, and I have been even dreaming about her. I can't explain this at all, but I have been just...dreaming about her. I have had dreams where she was just in them, and I have had sexual dreams about her.
It doesn't make any sense. I don't like her, I don't want anything to do with her, I don't want to know anything about her. I have a great girlfriend, we are raising a kid, and there is nothing that I have in my life that makes me even think about her.
Except the dreams. I hate them. I can't explain this, I can't talk about it with anyone, and I just want them to go away.
How in the world can you get so sideways from someone, yet still think about them???
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 1, 2008 8:30:00 GMT -5
I think dreams talk to us in symbols, just like words and letters are symbols. Different cultures have different meanings for their symbols, so the following is a standard American Dream Symbol of your ex. You would have to supply more details than just your ex in a dream to really understand it. PM me with what you remember if you like.
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.
In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream, indicates that you are finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.
To see your mate's ex in your dream, suggests that you may be comparing yourself to the ex. The dream is trying to tell you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended that relationship.
Alternatively, seeing your ex in your dream also signifies aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.
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Post by shattered on Oct 1, 2008 11:15:37 GMT -5
Soupnazi,
The dreams will go away.
I've had the same thing. For a while now, my ex has not been at the forefront of my mind, nor had I dreamed about him in a really long time.
Then, all of a sudden, I was dreaming about him all the time. Various scenarios. Often, I would feel in the dream, super strongly, that I still loved him, and wanted to be with him again. (When I woke up, I felt relieved, because it's no longer true.) That lasted for a few weeks, and then went away.
My therapist said this is simply all still part of the healing process, of the subconscious mind coming to terms with things. That after a major loss, almost everyone takes a *minimum* of a year to get deal with the loss. And subconscious mind plays a major role -- the dreams, as unwanted as they are -- are an important part in healing and making progress, my therapist says.
I don't know about you, but that rings true to me.
So, while I'm sure somtimes dreams can point to current problems, like redsky mentions above, it doesn't necessarily have to mean anything specific. It's often just your subconscious working through stuff.
While you are done with your ex, and no longer want her in your life, that doesn't change the fact that at one time, she was very important, probably the most important person in your life. Remnants of our past lives take a while to fully expunge.
You will see -- the dreams will go away.
shattered
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Post by soupnazi on Oct 1, 2008 21:31:12 GMT -5
Thanks to both of you.
I guess the reason this bothers me so much is because we have been apart so long. We separated three years ago, divorced 2.5 years ago. Haven't seen her in almost three years!
I have no reason to even think about her at all, and thats why the vivid dreams, for no reason, have me bugged.
I'm sure its nothing, but it sure is/was disturbing to have the dreams be so graphically vivid, and it makes me feel that maybe I haven't dealt with things (even though I have).
Anyway, thanks for your input! I appreciate it.
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Post by finding on Oct 2, 2008 9:29:49 GMT -5
I have found this happens for me when I am at peace with things. It seems that are heads have to sometimes catch up to where are hearts are at.
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 2, 2008 10:52:53 GMT -5
I have found this happens for me when I am at peace with things. It seems that are heads have to sometimes catch up to where are hearts are at. That made me think that maybe because we are at such peace emotionally, it is a safe time to bring up the old feelings and deal with them.
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Post by sheyd on Oct 2, 2008 15:26:41 GMT -5
I think the dreams are because that is an important part of your history - don't you ever have dreams that you can't open your locker at school? ;D Just remember, dreams are just dreams, don't let it fluster you or read too much into it. If it helps you sort out a problem, great, otherwise don't worry!
Shey
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Post by soupnazi on Oct 2, 2008 23:03:12 GMT -5
Sheyd...you are right. These dreams are in the "otherwise" category.
For as "real" as those dreams felt earlier this week, I dreamt of Hef's girls last night. Ha ha...
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