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Post by jules on Nov 25, 2008 13:38:47 GMT -5
Exhilarating? Destructive? Worthwhile? Discuss.
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Post by goods on Nov 25, 2008 14:45:35 GMT -5
yes. yes. can be. If you come out learning something about yourself. I mean REALLY learning something, something to build on, to improve on, something that in the end you use to make yourself a better, happier person.
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Post by redskyatnight on Nov 25, 2008 14:55:01 GMT -5
Goods made a good point, that learning from experience makes the experience worthwhile. I suppose a rollercoaster romance would be worth it, but sometimes I have to weigh what was learned with the pain it created. I tend to think that what is learned in these situations is to protect your heart the next time around. Maybe that's not such a good thing to learn. It takes all the excitment out of life.
I’m not a fan of them. The excitement of the newness is a drug for some people and they don’t care who they hurt along the way to get their fix.
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Post by RO on Nov 25, 2008 15:33:53 GMT -5
Interesting subject and one that we have discussed. I agree with what was stated... Every experience has some lesson whether or not you choose to apply that lesson to your life and learn from it is entirely up to you. Yes -- rollercoasters are addictive and the highs and lows bring that rush and excitement -- whether or not the end result is worth those highs and lows -- IMO is entirely based upon the individuals. Only you know if you want this type of relationship in your life. Only you know if you can tolerate the storms and the havoc that it may bring to your heart. Learning how to maneuver through those highs and lows is how you will survive the relationship or eventually it will end and you will move on. Some may be vindictive in their pursuit of others in the rollercoaster romance drama but I do not think that is always the case... I think some people are just somewhat manic in how they choose to deal with their life and I do not mean that in a negative state in this instance. Yes, it can be but I don't think a blanket statement is what you are looking for. In other words...I say go...experience because how else will you ever really know.
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Post by jules on Nov 25, 2008 16:33:48 GMT -5
Holy crap, responses from goods AND ro??? Any other ghosts of hugthat past lurking about? Ok, ok, playing aside, good thoughts to ponder. As far as the "learning from the experience" angle, I sometimes wonder if there can be TOO much emphasis placed on that. Is it ever ok to just live without thinking about what is "good for you" or what you can "learn from the experience"? I agree that the concept is totally addictive. ro, I think you hit the nail on the head with this point: Learning how to maneuver through those highs and lows is how you will survive the relationship or eventually it will end and you will move on. This is one aspect of the "learning and growing" thing that is entirely practical, and not simply bellybutton gazing. I also think that to learn HOW to do so can unfortunately only be done with trial and error. Maybe that's what needs to be done in order to live life in color, without safety goggles.
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Post by redskyatnight on Nov 25, 2008 16:51:41 GMT -5
Holy crap, responses from goods AND ro??? Any other ghosts of hugthat past lurking about? I saw Spike in Random Thoughts!
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Post by JimB on Nov 25, 2008 17:22:29 GMT -5
Exhilarating? Destructive? Worthwhile? Discuss. All of the above. Worth it for me for two reasons. 1. The memories. Sad and sweet and painful and wonderful. 2. Makes me feel good about how much I've grown since those days.
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Post by Phoenixx on Nov 25, 2008 17:29:16 GMT -5
Yes, i do think they are worthwhile. The memories are always wonderful, but also because you wont wonder "what if" and that is my biggest pet peeve. I already have too many regrets, I do not want to add another onto it.
Enjoy yourself. Pain is always survivable. ;D
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c
Junior Member
Posts: 52
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Post by c on Nov 25, 2008 21:21:12 GMT -5
Rollercoaster is a nice description, but what would you call the next notch up on the chain of disasterous relationships? Is there such a thing called Disfunctional Romances or something like that? In any case I feel all experiences one has survived in time are worth living thru.
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Post by kittenhart on Nov 25, 2008 21:23:43 GMT -5
omg...not without safety goggles... j/k I am on the fence about this one....but interestingly enough was just wondering about this myself- so a very timely topic, Jules. Pain can be survived....Pain forces you to change and grow, for sure...but I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say the growth involved was always worth it. Or if that growth couldn't have been achieved in other less hurtful ways. Then again...I've spent the better part of my life being a careful, analytical, considerate and caring person....who patiently waited and considered everyone's point of view before acting ..... And what have I learned from that? And how well has that worked for me so far?
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Post by Phyxius on Nov 25, 2008 22:05:34 GMT -5
Rollercoaster is a nice description, but what would you call the next notch up on the chain of disasterous relationships? Is there such a thing called Disfunctional Romances or something like that? In any case I feel all experiences one has survived in time are worth living thru. The word you're looking for is MARRIAGE...
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Post by jules on Nov 25, 2008 22:32:55 GMT -5
Then again...I've spent the better part of my life being a careful, analytical, considerate and caring person....who patiently waited and considered everyone's point of view before acting ..... And what have I learned from that? And how well has that worked for me so far? I'm SO right there with you, khart. Of course the fact that I'm analyzing the pros and cons of impulsively following one's heart rather than one's head shows I haven't changed TOO much. But I'm trying... because otherwise I fear that I've missed out on a critical part of life. You can keep your safety goggles for the lab.
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Post by ionysis on Nov 26, 2008 7:53:13 GMT -5
Yep - love em. I think a rollercoaster marriage is what would be most suitable for me really. Maybe its the Italian blood. They suit my personality. I have ADHD so I'm very quickly bored and it takes a lot to hold my attention. I'm very all or nothing and I love the highs of drama and passion and fights and make ups but ONLY as long as it is all underscored by real love for each other.
I relish the challenge of dealing with a difficult and emotionally volatile partner. I feel needed when I can console or reassure an insecure person, I feel loved and special when my partner gets jealous, I like knowing I am in the right and logically talking him down when he is irrational, I enjoy helping him work through his emotions and I like the fact that it gives me the excuse to have a temper tantrum of my own when I need to and we can still make up afterwards. I love the open communication of a good row and the great sex when you make up.
The only thing I do object to is public displays of petulance in front of other people. lets keep the dramatics for home.
Does this make me unbalanced. probably - but then if you both are its OK.
Probably not so good if kids are involved though - everyone has to grow up sometime.
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Post by freckles on Nov 26, 2008 11:10:31 GMT -5
Yep - love em. I think a rollercoaster marriage is what would be most suitable for me really. Maybe its the Italian blood. They suit my personality. I have ADHD so I'm very quickly bored and it takes a lot to hold my attention. I'm very all or nothing and I love the highs of drama and passion and fights and make ups but ONLY as long as it is all underscored by real love for each other. I relish the challenge of dealing with a difficult and emotionally volatile partner. I feel needed when I can console or reassure an insecure person, I feel loved and special when my partner gets jealous, I like knowing I am in the right and logically talking him down when he is irrational, I enjoy helping him work through his emotions and I like the fact that it gives me the excuse to have a temper tantrum of my own when I need to and we can still make up afterwards. I love the open communication of a good row and the great sex when you make up. The only thing I do object to is public displays of petulance in front of other people. lets keep the dramatics for home. Does this make me unbalanced. probably - but then if you both are its OK. Probably not so good if kids are involved though - everyone has to grow up sometime.
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