|
Post by Dave on Feb 11, 2008 12:23:44 GMT -5
I just read something that says that we only accept the love that we think we deserve. This hit me like a TON of bricks. I wonder how much of my hermitude is a result of me thinking that i do not deserve love.
maybe it's a bunch of hooey, but i wonder.
thoughts?
do people only accept the love they think they deserve?
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 12:26:21 GMT -5
I dont' think I deserved to be loved as much as my husband loves me, but I do accept it.
|
|
|
Post by loshyra on Feb 11, 2008 12:38:10 GMT -5
I am like you Rocko, I don't think I deserve to be loved as much as I am by my husband either.
I even told him that the other night and I swear he was soooooo mad at me! LOL!!!
|
|
|
Post by RO on Feb 11, 2008 12:46:24 GMT -5
I think there is a lot of truth in that...
YOU do deserve love.
Stop being a hermit...
For me, it was part of a dysfunctional family...but I love my parents and don't blame them for what has happened to me. I do know that I chose people in my life based on what I thought I deserved.
I have learned from that. You have a big heart...there is someone out there to break down your wall around it...
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 12:47:47 GMT -5
I know I do have a big wall around mine. Keeps me from letting people get close to me at all.
|
|
|
Post by Dave on Feb 11, 2008 12:52:30 GMT -5
I think there is a lot of truth in that... YOU do deserve love. Stop being a hermit... For me, it was part of a dysfunctional family...but I love my parents and don't blame them for what has happened to me. I do know that I chose people in my life based on what I thought I deserved. I have learned from that. You have a big heart...there is someone out there to break down your wall around it... i agree with the dysfunctional family idea, but there is nothing to do but deal with that and get over it, but i wonder if i ever will. I am certain that if anyone gets too close to me (really gets to know me) they will see how broken and no-good i am. I KNOW i'm not but that doesn't do me much good. Rocko, do you find yourself feeling guilty or even angry that he can love you so much?
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 12:57:17 GMT -5
no I just wish he knew that I love him that much, too.
|
|
|
Post by jules on Feb 11, 2008 13:00:34 GMT -5
Wow. Weird. I actually had a long conversation last night relating to this very topic.
Here's my take: I think a lot of people put themselves in a theoretical plastic bubble, particularly after their hearts have been hurt. And it's understandable. It's self-preservation. But while that bubble may prevent one from getting hurt again, it also prevents one from living fully. It keeps out the good as well as the bad.
Is it worth the risk of getting hurt to come out of the bubble and live and love and feel without barriers? That's an individual decision. Personally I decided that I don't want to live my life in a bubble.
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 13:05:34 GMT -5
My bubble is too hard to break....can't find the right tool to get out of it.
|
|
|
Post by RO on Feb 11, 2008 13:10:04 GMT -5
I think there is a lot of truth in that... YOU do deserve love. Stop being a hermit... For me, it was part of a dysfunctional family...but I love my parents and don't blame them for what has happened to me. I do know that I chose people in my life based on what I thought I deserved. I have learned from that. You have a big heart...there is someone out there to break down your wall around it... i agree with the dysfunctional family idea, but there is nothing to do but deal with that and get over it, but i wonder if i ever will. I am certain that if anyone gets too close to me (really gets to know me) they will see how broken and no-good i am. I KNOW i'm not but that doesn't do me much good. WOW! I feel the exact same way and have used the exact same terms. Wow! I have dealt with it...thats all you can do. I still believe it is possible to love fully and be loved...for me...I think I am seeking someone that really "gets" me.
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Feb 11, 2008 13:15:45 GMT -5
I get you...will you be my girlfriend
|
|
|
Post by Dave on Feb 11, 2008 13:16:27 GMT -5
right, ro, but in order to be "got" you need to let someone in.
|
|
|
Post by RO on Feb 11, 2008 13:20:40 GMT -5
right, ro, but in order to be "got" you need to let someone in. Yes, but maybe it is just me...I think that finding someone with a similar bond....will bring down the wall. That is what I believe...and I do and will let down my wall for the right person.
|
|
|
Post by Dave on Feb 11, 2008 13:28:57 GMT -5
yea, but again that requires that i make an effort, but i suspect being a hermit is far easier. I don't mind being a hermit, but i think that there might be more out there that i will continue to miss out on. . .
|
|
|
Post by sheyd on Feb 11, 2008 13:33:57 GMT -5
...and I do and will let down my wall for the right person. I was talking to a friend about this one too - but in order to KNOW a person, and let them KNOW you - you have to let down the walls first. If there are walls up on either side, all you are getting to know is the wall. How can you tell who is on the other side? So show your REAL self, your inside self, including fears and all, and when they see that maybe they can show you THIER real self, and then you can both decide if that is the right person. Either way, if you really know someone that way, you can't help but love them, even if the love isn't a "forever partner" sort of way. Shey
|
|