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Post by lostincali on Mar 23, 2008 22:43:17 GMT -5
I honestly thought I was past it all, but as my recent post indicates, I wasn't. It does seem to be a little bit easier this time. I've returned to my former ways. No contact at all, unless about the kids. I must admit though, it felt nice talking to her and finding out what she was really thinking these past 9 months. Who knows if what she told me was true, but it sounded good. My gut tells me that she realizes that she made a mistake, but too much has happened in 9 months. She told me that somehow, someway, she hopes we can work it out. I am sure she knows, just like I know, that we can't work it out. I don't think I will live long enough to be able to fit in the amount of therapy that we would need.
Having said all this, I do find myself checking my cell phone every little bit. I keep expecting her to message me. I know she will at some point. She will break. I find myself disappointed every time I check it and there are no messages. It's ridiculous. If she does message me, it just keeps me caught up in her even longer. If she doesn't, then I am disappointed and hurt.
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Post by goods on Mar 23, 2008 22:47:58 GMT -5
I know exactly how you feel and have walked that path..... Thinking to myself "How could I even consider getting back with her" Be strong.
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Post by crushy on Mar 23, 2008 22:55:30 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, Lost. Isn't it ironic how those that wish they could hear regret and sorrow of their loved ones don't hear it and those of us that do, are tortured by it? I know you love her, she's the mother of your kids, you married her, but like you said, it would take years of therapy. I don't know if you understand the wisdom in your statement. When one fantasizes about reconciliation, it's MUCH easier than once you are laying there next to them at night knowing what they've done, heard, said, experienced....that is one sickening feeling. If you two reconcile, I will be the first to support you and your decision, but if you can't, I will be the first to truly understand why. Take care.... Crushy
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Post by redskyatnight on Mar 24, 2008 6:54:34 GMT -5
I know that horrible feeling of waiting to hear from someone. It stinks!
You have suffered a setback because of the good conversation you had. It will get better.
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Post by ionysis on Mar 24, 2008 7:17:52 GMT -5
No wonder you're feeling low again - it's inevitable but remember it won't last. You won't ever be as low as the time you first found out about all of this. And that makes you stronger. if you can get through this you can get through anything. Keep moving forward and keep taking care of yourself. Thinking of you.
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