|
|
Post by rocko on Mar 31, 2008 8:56:47 GMT -5
Kevin said he would follow my wishes, but he would move in with my parents. That way he could still be with them, but have my parents to help them. My parents house is a home to my boys.
|
|
|
|
Post by goods on Mar 31, 2008 8:59:55 GMT -5
If my now ex-wife had died, I would have wanted to take care of her daughter, I knew her 8 years, was her step-dad for 5. I am sure it would have been a fight though, her father was still in her life, every other week. AND I would not want to take her away from her dad.
|
|
|
|
Post by freckles on Mar 31, 2008 9:10:27 GMT -5
In the eyes of the law, a boyfriend or girlfriend have zero rights in regards to children that are not thiers by blood. A Husband or Wife on the other hand do have People who are concerned about what would happen to thier kids should talk to a lawyer to see what to do.  |
|
|
|
Post by rocko on Mar 31, 2008 9:11:08 GMT -5
Kevin is my kids Dad, not there step dad.
|
|
JC
Full Member
Posts: 205
|
Post by JC on Mar 31, 2008 9:51:46 GMT -5
well, i am an extremely offensive person, i curse like a sailor, and i have extremely off-color jokes.. im sure i have offended more than one person here  , but that is just me. the one thing i dont tolerate at all is language like that about anyones child, whether that child is an adult of not. its not right, and to be honest, james and i have been together five years, and if he said something about my oldest (who is my ex-husbands) i would leave him today. no second chances at all... hopefully, what she says is true, and the word was meant more for her mothers benifit.. |
|
|
|
Post by JimB on Mar 31, 2008 10:27:32 GMT -5
Bob, kudos to you for addressing the situation directly with her. It sounds like a big enough deal to you that one conversation about it may not be enough to clear the air. I hope you'll continue to discuss it with her.
One thing I wasn't clear on is whether you spelled out to her that zero tolerance is now the policy on this issue. Anyone can make an honest mistake, but some mistakes are a bigger concern than others. I would think it would no longer be an issue, as long as she knows definitively that a second mistake in this context would be a deal breaker.
|
|
|
|
Post by redskyatnight on Mar 31, 2008 12:18:38 GMT -5
Forgive me because I haven't read all of the replies. It sounds like you are, or were, both upset. It is difficult to get any compromise or understanding when people are upset. I'd suggest a little time to let both of you calm down.
When you are better able to listen, talk to each other about what you know - objective facts in the situation. Then as openly as possible, talk about what how those objective facts make you feel. Finally, come up with a plan to address the problem areas. Understand that everyone FAILS, nobody is perfect, but communication and understanding with an honest desire to try to improve comes a close second to being perfect.
|
|
|
|
Post by bobfromacctg on Mar 31, 2008 12:50:27 GMT -5
So what - there are worse things for me. Having said that, I would not choose to be around someone who spoke like that in every sentance. Thats offensive to me - however, occasionally it doesn't bother me.
My nature is to forgive and forgive and forgive, but if I feel like I am being taken advantage of, I will cut you off and be done instantly. It just takes me a bit to reach my limit but once it is reached, there is no looking back for me. I would accept an apology again but I would never allow myself to trust them again.
I understand that sentiment completely and agree. I had not seen anything in her behavior to indicate there was a problem so that is why this was so confusing. I will give her the benefit of the doubt that this was indeed an mistake under pressure and we are all entitled to another chance. Next time I will be done though - no questions asked.
Thanks all for the notes. It has helped a bunch.
|
|
|
|
Post by freckles on Apr 1, 2008 9:39:10 GMT -5
i think when she talks to her Mom she cusses like a Sailor That is why She is a Therapist Her Mom drove Her to Cuss so much when She talks to her, She became a Therapist Just Overlook it P.S. Church is a Good Idea |
|
|
|
Post by bobfromacctg on Apr 1, 2008 10:50:31 GMT -5
Not sure about the logic on the Mom thing and becoming a therapist but you are right about a couple of things 1) Mom does drive her to cuss and 2) Church is a good thing.
When I meet her at church again this sunday, I will let her know you aprove.. Ha.
|
|
|
|
Post by freckles on Apr 1, 2008 12:25:05 GMT -5
|
|
blu
Full Member
Posts: 145
|
Post by blu on May 9, 2008 12:28:00 GMT -5
Bob, I am late to this but wanted to repond. Maybe its just because I am getting more cynical as i get older or maybe more observant and smarter, maybe it is becuase i trust and enjoy your advice so much, or maybe it is becuase i love ya man!! But this set off every single red flag I can think of - this woman is a therapist?  All I can say is to quote Maya Angelou "when people show you who they are, believe them" and I have learned to add - the first time!! Sorry Bob but I think you know in your heart just what a horrible reflectiont hat was of the person she is on the inside. If she was just afraid or concerned for you she would not have used the tone she did not the approach she did...all very selfish! Don't settle! |
|
|
|
Post by Mel (cherry) on May 9, 2008 12:30:11 GMT -5
I need to try to get a hold of you tonight. I could maybe offer some insight. I'd rather do it privately though.
|
|
|
|
Post by bobfromacctg on May 12, 2008 15:48:04 GMT -5
Don't panic Cherry..its ok. We have talked about it alot and its ok. I have seen her at her worse and that only happened once. If it happens twice - I'm gone no questions asked and she knows that.
|
|
, but that is just me. 
