I think I am broken!

[AMG]

I dont think I know how to date!!

After about a year, I decided it was time to start opening myself up to the possibility of dating again... I was talking to a few different people and just getting to know them, taking my time, etc. Thing is one caught my eye and we became a little more serious.

Things were going along great or so I thought! I had a great time with him and I was under the impression that he had a great time with me as well. Then, all of a sudden, basically over night there was "no chemistry" I was shocked. I have gone over this in my head over and over, and I cant find one example in his actions that this was true. I find myself to be greatly disappointed and yes, a little hurt by it all.

I realize he this is probably some excuse for some other reason or maybe it was true... I will never know. I am pretty sure I got played. I started to invest myself in someone who was not what I thought, or so it seems.

I dont know how you are suppose to tell if someone is worth the risk of putting yourself out there anymore!! I feel like my judgment is greatly skewed.

[redskyatnight]

There could be a hundred reasons why it didn't work out, none of them have to do with you. More than likely, he was not ready to go beyond a few dates. He was not ready for more.

Don't give up though. Keep going out and have fun in the process.

[JimB]

If your judgment is indeed skewed (and I concede that it might be), the best way to correct it is by continuing to get out there and use it. Think of it like a muscle - strengthening through exercise.

[gdgross]

Nothing wrong with either of you in all likelihood.

Sometimes one of you just isn't feeling it. I've been on both sides of that equation more times than I care to admit in the last year. Nothing wrong with that, and IMO it's better to break it off earlier than later if that's the case.

Despite my sometimes overinflated ego, I still know I am not a good fit for everyone.

[super]

for whatever reason, you guys weren't a good fit. don't take it personally!

[jules]

i read somewhere (probably one of the many self help books i was given when i was going through my initial split ) that dating after a divorce is particularly hard, because the newly divorced person's mindset is still subconsciously set to dating --> relationship --> marriage, when in the vast majority of cases, it's about dating until you don't anymore; it doesn't lead anywhere. and that is ok -- more than ok; it's healthy, even though it's a pretty steep learning curve.

essentially, what you're feeling is completely normal given the situation. you are not broken. you're doing what you need to do to become whole again and stronger than ever before.

[super]

Jules, I read that too. I find myself thinking that way and it's hard habit to break. I know that I'll never like anyone if I'm evaluating them for marriage from date one.