It's an older book (from the 70s or 80s), and very short. I have read a gazillion self-help books on getting over a broken heart, and this is one of the most inspiring that I have read.
Dr. Phillips is a behavioral therapist, and her method of falling out of love with someone is to "simply" crowd out thoughts of the person you want to forget by replacing those thoughts with pleasant unrelated thoughts. It is a "thought-stopping" technique.
I put "simply" in quotes, because, as Dr. Phillips herself says, this is a very simple concept, but not easy to do.
Whenever I read the book, which I have done many times, I am inspired to use this approach, and I feel hopeful, but for some reason I can never really get it to work. For me, it requires an enormous amount of mental effort that I just can't seem to muster.
I still think this can work for a lot of people, and since this book is so short and cheap, you have little to lose by reading this. Or see if your library has it.
Post by kittenhart on Jun 19, 2008 13:54:43 GMT -5
I think the "thought stopping" idea is definately easier stated than done, for sure. I found it was easier to just make yourself super busy, so that you literally don't have any time to think about the person, for at least a few months, until they are not part of your daily habits or routine anymore in any physical way...and then by the time you do have time to think about them again, there are alot fewer environmental cues that are going to trigger thoughts of them. You will already have memories that don't involve them, like Geoff said.
~ For us there is only the trying. The rest is not our business. ~