|
Post by gdgross on Jul 10, 2008 15:55:14 GMT -5
when another marriage is on the rocks... I saw it in my friends marriage a year ago, and he actually came and confided in me a lot. They were able to pull it together and seemingly, things are better now. Now, I have some other friends, or acquaintances, really, who aren't doing so well, either. I see that they're both making some poor choices. I pray that they will be able to get past this stage, and on to a happy marriage again. They've got two kids. It makes me very sad to see other experiencing my past all over again.
|
|
|
Post by jules on Jul 10, 2008 19:22:40 GMT -5
I'm sorry your friends are going through rough times. The best you can do to encourage them to figure out what they want and be supportive of them no matter what the outcome. You obviously have a great deal of empathy, but need to remember that each relationship is different, so they are not necessarily re-living your past. If you are in a position to suggest counseling, it'd probably be a good idea since most couples don't try counseling until it's just about too late...
It's a sticky situation. I'm friends with a couple who is engaged, an hang out with both of them separately (ironically, never together.) I hear plenty of "he did this", "she did that" from both of them. They're both great people but there are a few real issues that are just going to get worse if they do end up getting married -- neither party is wrong, but they come from different backgrounds. I listen and empathize, but I'll never at all indicate taking sides. I've told them both "look, you two need to talk to EACHOTHER and figure out how to resolve this together." They've postponed their wedding already, which I think is a good thing in their case, since I saw them doing the same thing my ex and I did and getting married because we'd been together so long and it seemed the logical next step.
|
|
|
Post by gdgross on Jul 11, 2008 11:30:53 GMT -5
You obviously have a great deal of empathy... That's so ironic. My lack of empathy was one of my ex's major complaints about me. I do think she had a point, but it was exaggerated. I don't know that I'm close enough to this second couple to really pry my way in and start making suggestions. It does make me sad, though.
|
|
|
Post by redskyatnight on Jul 11, 2008 11:33:17 GMT -5
It is sad whn you see another marriage fall apart. I don't know if its because you know what is ahead of them or because its another failed marriage.
I recently told a friend of mine, who is in marriage counseling, that he needs to make a black and white choice. He should take what the counselor says and give it everything he has, or he should bow out gracefully. This limbo will eventually erode the marriage, but if he decides that he wants to stay married, he has to do everything he can to make it work. It was food for thought.
|
|
blu
Full Member
Posts: 145
|
Post by blu on Jul 11, 2008 17:24:02 GMT -5
Oh yes! It is so sad and it bring me back to that whole....does anyone ever stay together anymore feeling.... I hope they can both work it out
|
|
|
Post by glassonion on Jul 13, 2008 14:40:34 GMT -5
I have a very close friend who recently confided that she was thinking about leaving her husband. i told her to do everything in her power to salvage their marriage, it sucks having to start over again.
Does anyone every really stay married forever these days?
|
|