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Post by sheyd on Jul 16, 2008 15:17:54 GMT -5
I think I would usually say yes - because I have learned so much from it. I have grown, I have made so many friends, travelled, done all kinds of things I wouldn't have done without that marriage and subsequent divorce. The good memories outweigh the bad - except the last two years the bad were sharp but not horrible. The good memories after the divorce make it worth it alone.
Except... I am thinking, I would have had trials in other options, too. I don't know what they would have been, but I would surely have learned and grown and travelled in those options too? My kids mean I wouldn't ever change it given the option, of course, but if you take them out of the picture, I think I would want to know what else might have happened without choosing him.
It was worth it for what has come of it, definitely, even without the kids, but without the kids, not sure I WOULD do it again.
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Post by pennylane on Jul 16, 2008 20:18:47 GMT -5
I have to agree with the majority of the posters here. Wasn't worth the pain. (KIDDO aside like you said) It's taken years to undo the pain that divorce caused me and put my daughter thru. I was fine before I married and am finally (after nearly 4 years) getting MY life back.
However, like JimB, I did learn a lot. Actually, I learned a ton.
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Post by JimB on Jul 17, 2008 8:16:08 GMT -5
We interrupt this thread for a test of the ionysis emergency response system. This is only a test. How am I ever going to be satisfied with another guy after being with R? Funny thing about satisfaction - it can take many different forms. That's fine, because "normal" (whatever that is) wouldn't have worked for you anyway. Too boring. We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread content.
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Post by ionysis on Jul 17, 2008 8:38:38 GMT -5
Sorry, I had a blip. *bangs head on desk* I'll have to start some valuble, amusing, life affirming threads now to make up for it. Hijack off!
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super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Jul 17, 2008 12:21:35 GMT -5
hijack continued!
i read somewhere that when you're in love with someone you start to think they're better than everyone else. and unreasonably so. in fact, i remember one point in the relationship telling my ex that i could never find anyone that would be as perfect for me.
the funny thing is, as i feel less and less about him, it's changed. a lot of the things that i was upset about not being able to find in anyone else are things i realize that i really don't care about. and i've found that other people have things that he didn't have.
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Post by lqdKaos on Jul 17, 2008 14:05:52 GMT -5
Monetarily...No
Otherwise, yes.
I learned alot about myself during my divorce. I learned alot about other people during my divorce. I learned who my friends are, who I can count on, and that I can face many challenges straight on and come out the other side a stronger person.
If I had not been married and gone thru the pain of a cheating spouse and a divorce, I would not be the person I am now. I have helped a couple friends cope with their struggles, drawing upon the lessons I learned. Even more, I think (or hope) that I have helped others on Ojar back when I was Chaotic.
So yes, it was worth it. I now know who I am.
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Post by rocko on Jul 17, 2008 14:15:00 GMT -5
you know I used to think people who were divorced had something wrong with them. I never stepped back and looked at the whole picture. I have really learned soooo much. I am much less judgemental.
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Post by sheyd on Jul 17, 2008 14:20:26 GMT -5
Chaotic!!! I didn't realize that was you! Hey cutie - nice to see you on! Wish we could have met when I was out your way...
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Post by lqdKaos on Jul 17, 2008 14:49:07 GMT -5
Chaotic!!! I didn't realize that was you! Hey cutie - nice to see you on! Wish we could have met when I was out your way... Yup its me. I wish I had known you were out here..>Actually I probably did hear rumors about people coming out, but I am a little hit and miss when it comes to getting on here. I go months then work slows down so I can breathe and I get on here a bit. Let me know if you are ever back out here.
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Post by sheyd on Jul 17, 2008 14:53:55 GMT -5
Hey, if that is an invite, we just might! The person we visited last time now has a very jealous SO, so I don't think that offer will be around again. It is nice to have a local to visit and see if you go somewhere. I LOVED Red Rocks - I would love to go again, or just hiking in the mountains... mmmm....
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Post by lqdKaos on Jul 17, 2008 14:57:41 GMT -5
Hey, if that is an invite, we just might! The person we visited last time now has a very jealous SO, so I don't think that offer will be around again. It is nice to have a local to visit and see if you go somewhere. I LOVED Red Rocks - I would love to go again, or just hiking in the mountains... mmmm.... Well I can say that my SO is not a jealous person. Well she might get a bit jealous if I get on the river, and she does not get to go too.
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Post by rocko on Jul 17, 2008 15:01:31 GMT -5
do I know chaotic?? I am sully.
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Post by sheyd on Jul 17, 2008 15:04:11 GMT -5
That works for me - maybe you two can take Harry and I on a mild and for you probably boring river trip if we can make it out there? Next summer maybe? Picture our mutual friend, his activity level is about ours.. We are up for anything, though! (and sorry for the thread hijack!)
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Post by sheyd on Jul 17, 2008 15:08:09 GMT -5
He has a pic at ojar, I think... very nice guy.
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Post by rocko on Jul 17, 2008 15:12:29 GMT -5
seems familiar.
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