Post by glassonion on Aug 20, 2008 21:37:31 GMT -5
Today my son said something to me that really hit a nerve, upset me which led into the feelings of anger and resentment toward my ex.
I was home today doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the house, and answering work emails all at the same time when my son comes in and asks me to come outside and play with him. I told him that I will as soon as I finish up these chores. With that said, he proceeds to become angry at me for not playing with him (which I can understand his point) and tells me that his dad always plays with him. I sat him down and explained that his dad is lucky (for lack of a better word.....talk about sugarcoating the truth LOL) that he only has to take care of himself and does not have to keep house and keep our family running the way I do. I explained to him that his dad has all of the time in the world to get his chores done (only sees the kids every other weekend) and does have the extra time to play. My son did not wish to accept that as an answer and remained pissed at me the remainder of the day.
The thing that pisses me off is that, yes, their dad can do these things because the bottom line is that he has nothing else to do, he does not have a job, stays home all day long and gets stoned, rarely pays child support, does not cover their health insurance as written into our divorce decree, and has also gone against the decree by not maintaining life insurance. I am not jealous but am resentful that I am the soul provider for my children, do everything in my power to provide for them, keep them safe, take them to ball practice, school conferences, homework etc..........and yet in their eyes, I do not do enough and their dead beat father can do no wrong.
People keep telling me to keep pushing ahead and that in time, the kids will learn on their own how difficult my mothering task is. But I just wish that would happen sooner than later. It breaks my heart to think that my kids do not consider me to be fun and think my ex is the cat's meow. I know I will prevail, just wish it were now.
I was home today doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the house, and answering work emails all at the same time when my son comes in and asks me to come outside and play with him. I told him that I will as soon as I finish up these chores. With that said, he proceeds to become angry at me for not playing with him (which I can understand his point) and tells me that his dad always plays with him. I sat him down and explained that his dad is lucky (for lack of a better word.....talk about sugarcoating the truth LOL) that he only has to take care of himself and does not have to keep house and keep our family running the way I do. I explained to him that his dad has all of the time in the world to get his chores done (only sees the kids every other weekend) and does have the extra time to play. My son did not wish to accept that as an answer and remained pissed at me the remainder of the day.
The thing that pisses me off is that, yes, their dad can do these things because the bottom line is that he has nothing else to do, he does not have a job, stays home all day long and gets stoned, rarely pays child support, does not cover their health insurance as written into our divorce decree, and has also gone against the decree by not maintaining life insurance. I am not jealous but am resentful that I am the soul provider for my children, do everything in my power to provide for them, keep them safe, take them to ball practice, school conferences, homework etc..........and yet in their eyes, I do not do enough and their dead beat father can do no wrong.
People keep telling me to keep pushing ahead and that in time, the kids will learn on their own how difficult my mothering task is. But I just wish that would happen sooner than later. It breaks my heart to think that my kids do not consider me to be fun and think my ex is the cat's meow. I know I will prevail, just wish it were now.