Post by hoodieprincess on Aug 26, 2008 16:52:57 GMT -5
Dear F,
Please consider this my last communication with you. I have tried to be honest and open over the last 15 months. You've been gone for 13 months now and it hasn't sunk in. I am not waiting for you. Every time I started to gain ground, you tried to come back and tried to fill me with empty promises. And, as much as I thought I'd let go of it all, each time you would rekindle the slightest hope I had inside me because you knew how much I wanted what you were promising.
Ever since my surgery, things changed. I came to that realization right before then. I tried to explain and it never made sense to you. I let go more and more as you did as well. Now, here you are...
A couple weeks ago, you asked me what I wanted. I told you. I told you how I wanted you to move on and I wanted to be able to move on 100%. Knowing my birthday was coming hit me like a ton of bricks. My birthday last year was so lonely and depressing and I do blame you for it. Sorry, just the way it is. So, I told you what a milestone my birthday was for me this year. I explained how for my birthday I wanted nothing more than to not think of you...To finally have an actually happy birthday and not a shred of you in it. I wish you weren't so selfish as to think of you above me. Thank goodness you got my birthday wrong and sent your birthday wishes early. Did you really have to tell me you loved me and you always would?! You just proved my point...Again. This is about you. It always has been. Damn it, I want to think about me for a change! Leave me be. Let it go. You are thousands of miles away still and you won't let me just have my life here. I am sorry it's not what you want and that you still dream of a life together. But, as far as I'm concerned, you are never coming back and I'm okay with that now. You need to be too. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY. My birthday is a couple days away (and sadly you figured out you screwed up and got the date wrong yesterday). I am praying you let it go...For me, leave me be and let me enjoy my day with people who care about me and want me happy. Please don't try and ruin that for me for your own selfish need...Please?
Just walk away....
~A
Please consider this my last communication with you. I have tried to be honest and open over the last 15 months. You've been gone for 13 months now and it hasn't sunk in. I am not waiting for you. Every time I started to gain ground, you tried to come back and tried to fill me with empty promises. And, as much as I thought I'd let go of it all, each time you would rekindle the slightest hope I had inside me because you knew how much I wanted what you were promising.
Ever since my surgery, things changed. I came to that realization right before then. I tried to explain and it never made sense to you. I let go more and more as you did as well. Now, here you are...
A couple weeks ago, you asked me what I wanted. I told you. I told you how I wanted you to move on and I wanted to be able to move on 100%. Knowing my birthday was coming hit me like a ton of bricks. My birthday last year was so lonely and depressing and I do blame you for it. Sorry, just the way it is. So, I told you what a milestone my birthday was for me this year. I explained how for my birthday I wanted nothing more than to not think of you...To finally have an actually happy birthday and not a shred of you in it. I wish you weren't so selfish as to think of you above me. Thank goodness you got my birthday wrong and sent your birthday wishes early. Did you really have to tell me you loved me and you always would?! You just proved my point...Again. This is about you. It always has been. Damn it, I want to think about me for a change! Leave me be. Let it go. You are thousands of miles away still and you won't let me just have my life here. I am sorry it's not what you want and that you still dream of a life together. But, as far as I'm concerned, you are never coming back and I'm okay with that now. You need to be too. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY. My birthday is a couple days away (and sadly you figured out you screwed up and got the date wrong yesterday). I am praying you let it go...For me, leave me be and let me enjoy my day with people who care about me and want me happy. Please don't try and ruin that for me for your own selfish need...Please?
Just walk away....
~A