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Post by kittenhart on Sept 2, 2008 21:01:52 GMT -5
so I opened it.....looked it over and thought how weird it is that 13 years and the loss of your best friend can be summed up by a few pieces of paper. I guess there really is very little in this world that one can't just leave behind in the end.
I suppose I should cry. But I don't really feel anything at all anymore...except totally lethargic. I can barely hold my head up I'm so tired. Is this normal?
Maybe I'll feel more like celebrating later??
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Post by soupnazi on Sept 2, 2008 22:22:31 GMT -5
Hi Kittenhart.
I don't think any one of us could say what is "normal", or what we should feel in those shocking moments of our lives. It's not like you didn't expect to get the papers, but you can't plan how you are going to feel when they are staring you in the face.
As a "veteran", I can tell you that the very impersonal email that I got, telling me the years that I had invested were officially nil, cut like a knife.
But, being the veteran, I can tell you a couple of years down the road, that it will be just an experience, a part of your life, and doesn't really hold the importance or sadness that it once did. One day, you will look at that stuff, and it will just be papers.
Hang in there kittenhart.
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Post by shattered on Sept 3, 2008 8:45:02 GMT -5
From what I've read from others getting divorce, it sounds totally normal. Of course, like soupnazi says, there really is no way to define normal.
It sounds like you are far enough down the road, thankfully, that there is no more devastating pain. But of course, it's not a happy occasion, and it's still emotionally draining, so I think it makes total sense that your whole mental and physical system is responding with extreme tiredness.
It is entirely weird to think that something so momentous as sharing your life with another human being for years is reduced to a few lines of text on paper.
Thank God we have the capacity to recover even from that.
(((((Hugs))))) to you.
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Post by redskyatnight on Sept 3, 2008 11:10:37 GMT -5
KH - you have been through a lot in the past few months, not just with your divorce, but everything else in your life.
Part of that is finally over and its perfectly normal to allow your body a chance to relax. It's like taking exams in school. For the two weeks before exams, your body and mind are keyed up and flowing with energy. When exams are over, you crash, sleep late and rest.
Your divorce is over, crash, sleep late and rest. You will be feel better soon.
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super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Sept 3, 2008 12:36:41 GMT -5
I don't know what that feels like, but I do respond to stress with total lethary too. I'm sure it will pass.
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Post by gdgross on Sept 3, 2008 13:10:14 GMT -5
Hey, let yourself relax! Getting divorced is a big deal...
I didn't know whether to be happy or sad when I got my final paperwork. Actually it was mostly apathy - a piece of paper or lack thereof was not what defined my marriage/relationship.
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Post by jules on Sept 3, 2008 13:50:24 GMT -5
(((Hugs))) K...
Yes, a piece of paper is a bit anticlimatic, isn't it? And yes it's normal to feel just completely worn out. Stress provides a ton of adrenoline. Besides, you've had not only the divorce going on but some other pretty serious stuff going on as well.
I never felt the urge to "celebrate." But I think that slowly coming to peace with it all is better than a celebration any day.
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