Post by hoodieprincess on Sept 10, 2008 15:09:34 GMT -5
This sucks and I am not sure how much sense this thread will make but I have to get it out...
So, my cousin has gotten herself into a messy situation. I'll just sum it up but know the details are just a sliver of it all...
Several months ago, she started seeing this guy. As we'd found out later, he'd come here from Arizona and had just gotten out of jail. My cousin admitted he'd also done prison time before that...27 months for "a fight with his brother." Well, about 2 weeks into dating him he beat the hell out of her. She left him for about a week and went back to him. Not quite 3 weeks later, she married him. He's since beat her up multiple times and even locked her in the bathroom after one of those times, started the shower and while he held a knife in his hand, told her the running water in the shower was where all the blood was going to go. I don't know how but that time, she'd convinced him to just let her out of the bathroom. After a lot of heartache and drama, she finally left. She has 3 beautiful children from her last marriage and it breaks my heart to know how much they suffered through this.
After she left, she moved in with her brother. She's tried to keep her kids occupied and has tried to get them settled into their school. I think she still has delusions of going back to him...Or she did until very recently.
About 2 weeks ago, he broke the restraining order and called her. He asked where she was and she told him she was at home. He told her she was lying because her car wasn't out front and their was a trailer preventing her from parking in the garage. It didn't click to her that his comments meant he'd figured out where she moved. A couple days later, she was home alone and turned around to find him standing in her house. She won't tell anyone what happened in the hour and a half it took her to convince him to leave, only sobs. Yet, she wouldn't call the cops for fear of what he'd do to her as he's threatened her about it. My guy cousin she lives with did call however for breaking and entering. Nobody still knows how he got in exactly or how many times he'd been there as he that day provided detailed info to her about things like the knife she started sleeping with under her mattress and telling her what easy access it made for him to get it and kill her.
Last week, she realized he'd been stalking her at work too. It was a long dilemma of her driving behind her and following her after she left work one night. She even drove to the police parking lot but was so terrified he'd kill her when she got out of her car, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Through some crazy stuff, the police had eventually been notified and he was arrested later that night.
Here's where I'm now being pulled in...I have gone through this myself. It was the most scary time of my life and nobody I knew understood the feelings I had. Nobody could help me take steps I needed to in order to make myself safe...Steps most normal people would never even comprehend. My mom has asked me to help her. I am scared. What if he finds out I am? So far, she is the only target, he hasn't targeted the kids or my other cousin. I am not going to get super involved but someone needs to tell her the hard stuff...I feel like I owe it to her (and myself) to try and be there for her...To listen if anything. But, I know the system. And, I know things to keep yourself safe. I know what should be included in "just in case" paperwork you need to stash with friends. It's scary for me. I found out about the newer stuff and the arrest last night. I had nightmares the whole night. My past is coming back to haunt me now and I am afraid the only way to conquer my own demons again is to help her with hers. It's so scary...
I am at work, I don't want to be here, I can't focus today...Just needed to share...I'm sure I'll need to get more off my chest later.
So, my cousin has gotten herself into a messy situation. I'll just sum it up but know the details are just a sliver of it all...
Several months ago, she started seeing this guy. As we'd found out later, he'd come here from Arizona and had just gotten out of jail. My cousin admitted he'd also done prison time before that...27 months for "a fight with his brother." Well, about 2 weeks into dating him he beat the hell out of her. She left him for about a week and went back to him. Not quite 3 weeks later, she married him. He's since beat her up multiple times and even locked her in the bathroom after one of those times, started the shower and while he held a knife in his hand, told her the running water in the shower was where all the blood was going to go. I don't know how but that time, she'd convinced him to just let her out of the bathroom. After a lot of heartache and drama, she finally left. She has 3 beautiful children from her last marriage and it breaks my heart to know how much they suffered through this.
After she left, she moved in with her brother. She's tried to keep her kids occupied and has tried to get them settled into their school. I think she still has delusions of going back to him...Or she did until very recently.
About 2 weeks ago, he broke the restraining order and called her. He asked where she was and she told him she was at home. He told her she was lying because her car wasn't out front and their was a trailer preventing her from parking in the garage. It didn't click to her that his comments meant he'd figured out where she moved. A couple days later, she was home alone and turned around to find him standing in her house. She won't tell anyone what happened in the hour and a half it took her to convince him to leave, only sobs. Yet, she wouldn't call the cops for fear of what he'd do to her as he's threatened her about it. My guy cousin she lives with did call however for breaking and entering. Nobody still knows how he got in exactly or how many times he'd been there as he that day provided detailed info to her about things like the knife she started sleeping with under her mattress and telling her what easy access it made for him to get it and kill her.
Last week, she realized he'd been stalking her at work too. It was a long dilemma of her driving behind her and following her after she left work one night. She even drove to the police parking lot but was so terrified he'd kill her when she got out of her car, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Through some crazy stuff, the police had eventually been notified and he was arrested later that night.
Here's where I'm now being pulled in...I have gone through this myself. It was the most scary time of my life and nobody I knew understood the feelings I had. Nobody could help me take steps I needed to in order to make myself safe...Steps most normal people would never even comprehend. My mom has asked me to help her. I am scared. What if he finds out I am? So far, she is the only target, he hasn't targeted the kids or my other cousin. I am not going to get super involved but someone needs to tell her the hard stuff...I feel like I owe it to her (and myself) to try and be there for her...To listen if anything. But, I know the system. And, I know things to keep yourself safe. I know what should be included in "just in case" paperwork you need to stash with friends. It's scary for me. I found out about the newer stuff and the arrest last night. I had nightmares the whole night. My past is coming back to haunt me now and I am afraid the only way to conquer my own demons again is to help her with hers. It's so scary...
I am at work, I don't want to be here, I can't focus today...Just needed to share...I'm sure I'll need to get more off my chest later.