daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Sept 16, 2008 15:25:25 GMT -5
How does one meet new people in there lives. I mean where, Do you go to bars. I cannot do this i have never had a drink alone at a bar and dont think i would be able to. Do i join clubs and what type, swingers clubs , bowling clubs, Night clubs. I cannot go to a nightclub as i did this so often when i was younger. I think that i stayed at a night club rather than home in my youth and anyway i am too old for that and the thumping rubbish they call music these days. Does one meet people on the net. I tried this and i recieved a reponse from some woman hopefully it was that tried to swindle me of money however i caught up very quickly that something was wrong when she wrote and said that she was born in the u.k and still stays there but could hardly spell the word u.k .At first i thought they were typo errors but the second time she wrote i realised that a three year old can spell better than this and she was conveniantly coming through to africa on business,yet i believe that she was from nigeria trying to pull some sort of scam on me. I cannot believe that i am at a stage whereby i do not know how to meet people. It was never a problem for me. How does one meet mature individuals that are decent. There does not seem to be anyplace , other than demeaning yourself and sitting at club or bar looking like someones parent that has come to catch them at the venue. Do any of you guys have any ideas.
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Post by gdgross on Sept 16, 2008 15:42:47 GMT -5
I've dated (as in, at least a month or two) three girls since my ex.
The first I met online.
The second I met at work.
The third (and current) I met at church.
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Post by JimB on Sept 16, 2008 16:21:52 GMT -5
Do stuff you like to do, and in the process you'll naturally meet people who like the same things. It's better (IMO) if meeting people is a fringe benefit rather than a focal point.
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Post by hoodieprincess on Sept 16, 2008 17:45:58 GMT -5
Daryl,
Okay, I'm a girl but thought I'd share...Since my divorce, I've had a fair ammount of dates and a few relationships...But, I have also made a ton of new friends (of the opposite sex even).
1st, I started going to watch my friend sing kareoke. I wouldn't dare sing for fear dogs would bark and the windows would break. But, it was something I got to go do and had a ton of fun supporting her even if I don't really like the bar scene. In that, I met a few people. Apparently I looked happy and they seemed to notice!
I also have met a couple people on-line.
I met a really great guy at the library. We didn't click romantically but he's awesome to go have coffee with!
The guy I am now seeing was introduced to me by some close friends.
Just get out and have fun doing the things you like to do. You will be a lot more attractive to the ladies if you look like you're having fun and you seem happy!! Good luck!
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Post by shattered on Sept 16, 2008 18:12:12 GMT -5
Virtually no matter where I go, I never meet anyone I'm interested in, and certainly no one is ever interested in me.
Recent exceptions:
I met my ex at work.
I met the French guy in a store that his relatives own. I was there with my mom. We were talking to the owners, he joined us. After a while he asked me for my card. Then he called and asked me out for dinner.
I've done the online thing (e-Harmony for six entire months) -- nothing.
I don't do the bar scene. I go to dinner, movies, museums, theater with my girlfriends. In my neighborhood all the men are either gay or 4-foot Mexicans (I'm tall, so they come up about to my boobs). I'm involved in the animal-protection movement (many more women than men), and I go to the symphony (full of old people). But these are the things I love doing.
I'm guess I'm going to have to leave meeting men to pure chance.
For what it's worth -- I attended a little seminar on how to meet people once, and the speaker -- young, hip, good-looking guy -- swore that book stores and coffee shops are the way to go, not bars.
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Post by soupnazi on Sept 16, 2008 23:39:35 GMT -5
Daryl, you've got some good advice here, to start out with. Most important thing is to try to let go of the past. None of the good advice here will help you until you do that.
Believe me, I held on to the ex and what was, for far too long. Worrying about my kids and all of that.
But at a point, you have to live for you, and you only.
Coffee shops, bookstores, meeting people through friends, online dating...all of that is good. What really matters is you feeling good about you, and living your life. When you get to the point where you are just you again...then you will open yourself up to someone.
Hang in there man, it all comes in due time.
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