daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Oct 3, 2008 18:34:52 GMT -5
Well guess how its turning out. I have or seem to have been giving off this vibe that i am lonley and want to move past my ex,so i talk to my siblings and others about how difficult it is to meat new people. I get a call from my mother,they live about 300-400 miles away in a smalltown in s.a and she has me already arranged with another women. She says that i need to take a flight through to meet this lady. Now given the fact that i am indian--no not red indian like in bollywood indian it is not uncommon for this to happen, however ,i had thought my mother and her sisters long hobby of arranging men and women together was strictly for friends and other aquaintences but it seems i have become there latest project , so i flat out refuse this proposal of going to meet girl as they call it and the fact that i am more of a westernised guy rather than a traditionalist but she is adamant and says that she will send me a picture via email. I get the picure and the woman is drop dead gourgeous. So now i have decided to go and meet girl ;D Maybe there is something to there hobby after all.I dont ever know of anyone that has broken up or divorced that they have ever arranged together. So with my western pride set aside and my best of outfits i set off tomorrow to figure if this will be the start of something new,however i warned them that i will not commit to anything with anyone in the near future as i want to concentrate on my studies and earning money rather than having to deal with another relationship. I think that friendships that develop rather than relationships that inhibit is the way to go at this stage for me ,although i also feel that having someone to talk to and go to dinner with occasionally would also be nice. i HOPE SOMEONE HAS SOME ADVISE FOR ME OUT HERE. I dont want to hurt anyone but also dont want to let an opportunity for potential happiness and new memories pass me by.
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Post by jules on Oct 4, 2008 13:06:28 GMT -5
daryl, you crack me up. ;D Try not to get engaged this weekend.
And if you two do hit it off, I hope you have a lot of frequent flyer miles! Seriously though, have fun. You deserve it.
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daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Oct 4, 2008 15:15:38 GMT -5
Hey Thanks jules ,i had thought that you had forgotten about me.I am now at my parents place and they seem to retire when it is still light out. Seems a ittle weird to have travelled so far to meet some one. The big day is tomorrow and i hope it goes well.Knowing my family it may be a scene from monsoon wedding if you have seen it.Thanks again for the encouragement. It seems a bit embaressing though to have had my mother organise a woman but then again she is an expert in this type of thing.My mother and her sisters really make me laugh in the manner in which they communicate about it.This is what they told me today. "Look- if you see girl and you like girl then we can talk to the family but if you see girl and dont like girl then we are not forcing you but she is such a nice girl from a decent family".The same goes when they are in communication about a guy. If you see boy and you like boy then blah blah even if the so called boy is 60 years old.
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daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Oct 5, 2008 17:38:16 GMT -5
Well i did meet her and i enjoyed our first conversation over some coffee yet i kept on getting the feeling that it is not the same as before. I mean that it seemed to be a little uncomfortable for me. Was i expecting to feel completley in tune with her as i did when i met or was with my ex when we first started seeing each other or am i comparing a feeling that i had with my ex and expecting it to be the same with someone else. Given the fact that i was much younger, about 15 years younger and i was a bit more care free and reckless in love and now i seem to be more reserved in my approach and cautious.She said that she liked me and wants to see me again. I on the other hand would like to see her again but at the same time i know that it is not all sparks and fun. It seems more mature but i seem to have wanted to be swept of my feet. Maybe i am comparing too much. I dont know
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Post by soupnazi on Oct 5, 2008 22:34:10 GMT -5
Daryl, welcome to dating after divorce. You are guarded, for sure. Try to have fun, try not to think too much into things at first. It's funny that your family is trying to set you up, families seem to have a way of doing that. I don't need to tell you though, for all of their well-meaning, that you need to do what is best for you. I will tell you though, that time is your best friend. After you get farther away from the hell that was your divorce, the relationship and what you once felt for your ex diminishes, and time will free you up to get back in touch with who you are, and what you want in your life going forward. Good luck man, and have fun!
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Post by rocko on Oct 6, 2008 7:48:15 GMT -5
Yep, dating after the naive dating of our childhood is very different.
I hope you have fun getting back out there.
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daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Oct 6, 2008 18:00:43 GMT -5
Hey guys ,i did have a nice time with this woman but i am not going to persue anything further with her and told my mother and her sisters as well so that they are clear and there are no false hopes.Well i also told her.It was not about the date or anything of that nature but the fact that i realised that although they are looking out for my best interests, she just is not the type of person that i would be with as a life partner. She is kind and good looking but they seem to want me to be with someone that is a doormat ,meaning if i say jump ,she will ask how high. I dont want that in a woman at all but they seem to think that being involved with someone that works with you rather than against means that the woman must be submissive. I think that a woman needs to be an independant thinker and free to persue her own goals in life rather than her partners,but then again also to be able to love there partner and get love back from the man that they are with. I was surprised after communicating with this woman that she seemed more than willing to be the submissive type which does not really do it for me unfortunatley. I at least cracked into the dating game even though it was organised via family.It made me realise what i actually wanted and the values i should look for.
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Post by redskyatnight on Oct 7, 2008 10:56:52 GMT -5
Can you set her up with Freckles?
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Post by freckles on Oct 7, 2008 11:59:48 GMT -5
Can you set her up with Freckles?
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Post by sheyd on Oct 7, 2008 13:28:45 GMT -5
Good for you for getting out there - AND for knowing what you want enough not to settle! Just remember, most things aren't instant connections, and even when they are - that feeling might not be the best guide of long term happiness or success...
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daryl
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by daryl on Oct 7, 2008 17:36:33 GMT -5
Yes i can set her up with freckles as long as he has a kitty -maybe three and no doormat. I think that some of us need partners in our lives for companionship.I dont see myself being able to live with a maid that i also sleep with. How on earth do you communicate except to give orders.Then again the type of woman that spark me up are also the type that can break my spirit into little peaces without remorse and move on,but that is the risk i have to take for happiness i guess.
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