Sons

[soupnazi]

Well Crushy, it sounds like a sucky situation that you are all in. I hope that you can get it worked out with not too much drama.

Why is your son wanting to change schools? Is it just needing a change of scenery or is it something a bit deeper? Is he being bullied?

Most kids at his age don't want change in their lives, they are just starting to find themselves, find their own voice, and know who their friends are.

If there is nothing "wrong" in those areas, then I have to tell you about this great little sign that I saw today, that hangs in a home. It said "Attention teenagers: In this home, NO is a complete sentence." ;D

I hope that this change that your son wants has nothing to do with anything bad, such as the bullying that I already mentioned. And, I hope that if it is something that you all want, you get it done.

As far as in the short term...it may be a good idea to tell your son that you have tried to do what he wants...but that he needs to prepare for going back to the same school.

Good luck!

[crushy]

Thanks for your reply, soup. It is actually bullying. He's lost a lot of weight since being diagnosed with ADD and medication and got pants-ed. He's shoved a couple of bullies into lockers. I guess the kid that got suspended for pant-sing him asked him for a quarter, my son threw a dime on the floor and said, 'go get it'. I admit, I had a smirk on my face when my son told me what he'd done. Bad mom, bad, bad mom. ;D

My son has a heart of gold and would never intentionally hurt anyone. He's no nerd, just tender-hearted.

I was popular, but his dad wasn't, so it's kind of hard for me to talk to him about it because he says, 'but you were popular'. Yes, I was, but I literally fought tooth and nail in a hallway in jr high for a girl named Pearl that was ruthlessly teased. I made friends with her and she was awesome. I don't get how kids can be so mean?

I made another lifetime friendship with a girl named SiVon. She was special and yet some couldn't see it. Why? She will forever be in my heart. She became a part of our high school gang. She'll always be special to me. She was shunned because she had a nervous habit of pulling out her eyelashes and eyebrows during sleep. Turned out she'd been sexually abused by her dad and that was how it manifested. I remember walking home from the bus stop and she asked me how to make friends...I was shocked...I answered, 'We're friends'. She started to cry! I love her like a sister.

My heart just aches that my son's heart hurts Thanks again, soup....

[JimB]

I hope there's more to it than just bullying. Changing schools is just exchanging bullies....

[crushy]

Oct 20, 2008 10:07:36 GMT -5 JimB said:

I hope there's more to it than just bullying. Changing schools is just exchanging bullies....

I know that, but try telling a 13 yr old that!!

[redskyatnight]

Well......that is a heart breaking story. It is hard when you see your kids hurting. Unfortunately, changing schools is not an option, so you have to face the situation and the two of you should deal with it the best that you can.

The administration should be made aware of the problems in the hallways. No child should have to walk in fear in school. I don't know how to handle bullies, but I'm sure google would have some suggestions could use.

[kittenhart]

T,
You really do need to go into the school and meet with admin about it....if the bullying is getting to the point where he is expressing that he wants to move schools...then it is already probably pretty bad for him, anxiety-wise.

You need to take visible action to support him...visible to him, not necessarily to the bullies.

That sucks that you are in that situation, but moving schools won't do much. Hugs.

[crushy]

Oct 21, 2008 20:44:37 GMT -5 kittenhart said:

T,
You really do need to go into the school and meet with admin about it....if the bullying is getting to the point where he is expressing that he wants to move schools...then it is already probably pretty bad for him, anxiety-wise.

You need to take visible action to support him...visible to him, not necessarily to the bullies.

That sucks that you are in that situation, but moving schools won't do much. Hugs.

We did and it seems to have worked, but he's got a tender heart and won't forget. His counselor seems to think we've dealt with the school enough and need to let him work through the issues on his own unless more arise.

I talked to him tonight and he knows the lengths I've gone to to get him transferred. He seemed pretty laid back about it tonight, but it's when he's upset, it's hard. I just want to do the right thing.