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Post by shattered on Nov 19, 2008 10:48:15 GMT -5
Hang in there, honey. You have the strength. The pain and longing will become less and less.
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Post by freckles on Nov 19, 2008 11:06:55 GMT -5
I wrote a little journal of all the bad feelings and pain and bad things from the entire relationship. When I would miss him I would re-read it to help me feel the anger instead of despair. It helped me through the worst part. Then I had to let go of the anger to heal the rest of the way. I wrote all the bad down and gave it to my lawyer & lawyer gave it to her lawyer & the court I still have it somewhere It is very bad |
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Post by sheyd on Nov 19, 2008 12:23:57 GMT -5
You have so much strength!!! The fact that you didn't drive by just amazes me - so many of us it took MONTHS to control ourselves that much - good for you!
It WILL get better, it will take time, but it will - I promise! You are doing all the right things, and although there will always be ups and downs, you will suddenly one day realize that today was a good day, and you have had lots of good days in a row and didn't even realize it. The healing kinda sneaks up on you that way. You will get there!
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comeawayfromit
New Member
I think there are pieces of me you've never seen
Posts: 31
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Post by comeawayfromit on Nov 19, 2008 12:48:23 GMT -5
Yeah I agree with all the advice. I appreciate it. I do accept that it won't ever be again but I can't help but wish for it to change. I have accepted that he's gone and never coming back. The week is up today so after today, we will have gone longer than we ever have without talking in 8 years. It's pretty crazy but I get mad at times cuz I told him he should never contact me and that he's dead to me and he doesn't seem to give a damn. The problem I keep struggling with is that he has told me repeatedly again and again since our breakup that it's so important for us to continue to be in each other's lives and that no matter where we are, we'll always have a place for each other. But that apparently is no longer true. I mean shit, he told me that a week and half ago when we were in bed together! For me it's a matter of accepting that he has lied to me about stuff and perhaps done so to get what he wants. It's accepting that I shouldn't be on his side anymore and should see him for who he is. That's what's most difficult. When I take it upon myself to love someone, I do it unconditionally and am very loyal. So even now when people talk badly about him, there's a very small part of me that's screaming out NOOOO it's not true. But my mind knows it is. I'm rambling now but I wanted to get this stuff out so I can reread later if I feel down.
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Post by sheyd on Nov 19, 2008 23:47:21 GMT -5
You're doing great! Keep re-reading - go back and look at ojar.com doing a search on "no contact" - just keep up the good work, and it WILL get easier. Eventually you will even stop remembering when the last time you talked was (I know that seems hard to believe now, but it is true!) Hang in there!
Oh - and another helpful thing - read humor. Funny stuff is distracting and reminds you that you CAN enjoy life all on your own. Personally, I like icanhascheezburger.com... love those lolcats! ;D
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