Post by redskyatnight on Jan 28, 2009 10:26:51 GMT -5
That is a very tangled web.
Of course you are going to feel guilty when you can't help Mom out and it sounds like she lays the guilt on pretty thick if you refuse to help. That is her problem. You aren't going to change the way she asks for things, the things she says, or what she does with her life.
You can change your reaction to them. Understand that the guilt she is putting on you is manipulative. Tell her you would like to help her, but you don't have the money right now. Invite her over for dinner of pasta and spagetti sauce if she is hungry, but don't give her money. Help in other ways that you can, but don't give her money.
Be strong and independent. She doen't need to watch your kids, heck your kids are probably better off if she doesn't watch them. Listen to what she has to say, don't try to argue with her, just smile and move on.
Of course you are going to feel guilty when you can't help Mom out and it sounds like she lays the guilt on pretty thick if you refuse to help. That is her problem. You aren't going to change the way she asks for things, the things she says, or what she does with her life.
You can change your reaction to them. Understand that the guilt she is putting on you is manipulative. Tell her you would like to help her, but you don't have the money right now. Invite her over for dinner of pasta and spagetti sauce if she is hungry, but don't give her money. Help in other ways that you can, but don't give her money.
Be strong and independent. She doen't need to watch your kids, heck your kids are probably better off if she doesn't watch them. Listen to what she has to say, don't try to argue with her, just smile and move on.
