Ex going in to rehab

[lostincali]

Well, I keep making occasional appearances here. The Ex is at is again. I'll just give a brief rundown of my dilemma.

This afternoon, she sends me a text message that just says "Tonight we have to talk, something happened." Crap like this always pisses me off. When anything bad happens, she always wants to let you know that something has happened, but she never just wants to come out and tell you what it is. She always wants to wait.

Anyways, I met her at our usual location to exchange our twin girls. She pulls up with her new boyfriend. Yep, she is now officially bi-sexual. Guess she finally had enough of her butch girlfriend and has found something new and exciting to keep her going for a bit. I just wanted to pull the guy to the side and slap him real hard and say WAKE UP DUDE. Leave now and save yourself a lot of hurt and drama. Of course I don't. I'll let him learn the hard way.

Back to the point though. Apparently her parents, who happen to be 2 of the craziest, mentally insane people I have ever met, found out that she has been abusing a prescription sleeping pill. Like taking 5 or 6 a day. They are forcing her to go to rehab, which I have no problem with whatsoever. Anyone that has an addiction should get help. She says it will be about 90 days that she is gone. During this time, "her parents" want MY daughters to maintain the same schedule they are currently on. Meaning that when it is time for them to be with their mom, they will instead be staying with her parents. Now personally, I always seemed to get along with her parents, however, they are not really a duo that I want my kids to be with longer than just spending the night occasionally.

So, my options are to allow it to happen the way they want it to, or I can keep them 24/7 while this is going on and allow the twins to see her parents on the weekends. Perhaps let them spend the day with them or something. The twins are only 4 and a half, but if I give them the option, they will choose to stay with me 24/7 and they may or may not want to spend limited time with her parents.

I don't really want to kick a person while they are down, but this latest event in her life has me considering taking her back to court to get full custody. I honestly thought I would never want to do that to her, but at this point, I have to think about my kids. I am afraid that if I do that, it may completely push her over the edge and I am not sure how she will react.

No clue what I am going to do. I am going to take a few days to digest it.

[freckles]

Does the Sleeping pill make her sleep?

I hope she does not drive a car and take them

There is a pill you can take to sleep that is a sleep hormone it starts with a M

[lostincali]

I believe it was Ambien. From what I understand, it initially helped her sleep, but after a while, it just made her seem almost high. I could tell she would act very weird at times.

[blu]

Hi Lost,

I am sorry to hear your ex is having more issues. As many people here know I got divorced after my husband succumbed to mental illness and that his family has pervasive mental illness in its history.

As for your daughters, do not hesitate for a minute to do whatever you need to do to keep them safe and ensure they are both physically and emotionally in a good place. Having their mom gone is going to be a big enough deal, they need to know you are there for them.

I think that you have already voiced your concerns about your ex-inlaws. I had similar thoughts about mine and my girls never have done more than visit and spend time. As their father you need to establish and maintain yourself as their "next of kin" and make sure they are always safe.

First get through the rehab - Ambien is terribly addictive - then worry about the future of custody,

Best of luck

[sheyd]

Ambien is NASTY stuff - people sleepwalk/sleepeat/sleepdrink - basically they do things while they are sleeping and don't even remember it - including driving. Scary stuff.

[redskyatnight]

I agree with blu - get through the rehab, then worry about court.

If you have reservations about her parents, and it sounds like they are valid, keep the kids. You have more legal right and staying with you would be more routine than adapting to the grandparents. Their schedule would not be the same because they are not in the same place with the same person making sure they do homework, go to bed, brush teeth, etc. You are much more routine than adapting to a new style.

The grandparents would have to take you to court and it is doubtful that the case would be settled in 90 days, so a lawyer might not even take the case.

[jules]

Feb 22, 2009 22:08:18 GMT -5 lostincali said:

She says it will be about 90 days that she is gone. During this time, "her parents" want MY daughters to maintain the same schedule they are currently on. Meaning that when it is time for them to be with their mom, they will instead be staying with her parents. Now personally, I always seemed to get along with her parents, however, they are not really a duo that I want my kids to be with longer than just spending the night occasionally.

So, my options are to allow it to happen the way they want it to, or I can keep them 24/7 while this is going on and allow the twins to see her parents on the weekends.

It's up to you, of course, but I think the latter sounds more reasonable. Why should they stay with her parents on weekends -- they are not your children's mother. They do not have custodial rights. I think your taking the kids to visit their maternal grandparents a few times while their mother is in rehab would be a nice gesture, but even that isn't necessary.

As for Ambien, it is a perfectly fine drug, but like any drug can cause bad reactions in certain people depending on individual chemistry. From my experience (of people I've known personally who have been on it), it seems to work very well for the short term, not so much for the long term -- that's when the wacky side effects seem to start to occur.

[blu]

lostincali - How's it going?