Post by jeffhall on Feb 12, 2016 22:05:00 GMT -5
It's been 20 years since being dumped. 20 Years since I did the right thing, turned and walked away. That's what you asked me to do. That's what all of our close friends told me was best. During those 20 years I kept walking, got married, raised a family, became something more then the unemployed, broke, struggling student who almost dropped out of college that you left. My kids are grown now! I feel a sense of accomplishment having paid off all my debt, mortgages, loans, everything and am set to retire in 5 years at the age of 50 if I choose.
And by chance thru no ones fault but my own, I've committed in what today would be a most grievous sin. While helping a friend by fixing their computer I used their account and saved password to search your name. From there I saw the facebook page of the child I walked away from 20 years ago. To this I confess and accept the hell of emotions I'm in right now. I can't imagine what it takes for you and your husband to wake every morning and deal with what you see in that child's face. Or maybe it's that I don't understand the hatred you developed towards me to justify severing all ties and denying me the closure of paternity.
I have seen for my own eyes and wish it was plain and clear, but to be truthful I can't tell. Maybe I'm seeing to much or to little to make up my mind, but I can't determine with photos and I know DNA testing would never be an option for you and your husband. Ignorance is bliss. What I think is right be damned. If karma is a thing and she figures this out on her own I'm certain you will say I abandoned her. Sadly it will be the closest thing to the truth but only a half truth. No mention of your encouragement to push me away. No statements about how you would label me a threat to the police if I tried to insist, you'll just tell that partial truth and hope it sticks.
There's nothing I wish upon you. What you and your husband are doing to yourselves is by far the most hideous thing conceivable.