super
Full Member
Posts: 122
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Post by super on Jan 16, 2008 12:30:53 GMT -5
I've been ignoring these feelings, but I think they are a big part of what is bringing me down. More than being sad I've lost someone, maybe I'm scared that I've lost my safety net.
I've been feeling pressure forever from society in general and my ex to get married. This is the first time I've felt that pressure as a single girl though. I suddenly feel like here I am, I'm 28, and there's no one in my life. I'm not even ready to have anyone in my life.
I feel scared. I don't know if I'll meet someone. Even if I do it takes a long time to build a relationship. What if I can't ever trust again?
I just feel alone, lonely and pathetic and it feels good to admit it.
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Post by sheyd on Jan 16, 2008 15:54:19 GMT -5
I am so sorry you are feeling that way. First of all, I know you know this- but you are NOT pathetic!!! Those feelings are normal, though, and it is ok to admit it and lean on people.
You aren't alone - you have friends, heck, you have us!!! The lonely, I am assuming, is for that "special" relationship. That is also normal - although even IN one of them you can feel lonely, the key is to be comfortable with YOURSELF - in or out of that kind of relationship.
I know what you mean about that pressure... I have been "living in sin" for almost 2 years now - the pressure to get married is intense. However, if you give in to that pressure, you become part of the pressure for others. Don't give in to believing that is the only route to happiness. Nor does not being in a marriage mean you will be alone forever. You CAN trust, you CAN get there, but for right now, you just need to comfy with YOU again. That is OK - no matter how media, etc makes you feel. I know it is a long way from knowing something intellectually to translating that emotionally, but it is a start...
Shey
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Post by ionysis on Jan 19, 2008 23:28:56 GMT -5
I'm 30 but I'm lucky that only one of my girlfriends is married and most of them are single professional women. I think that being able to be on your own and refusing to settle for someone who is just "good enough" is a wonderful thing and something you should be proud of. I actually find that I feel at my strongest when I'm on my own and independent, although it took a long time for me to feel that way. These feelings pass - like everything. Chin up.ou aren't wierd for being single at 28 - if you ask me it is wierder of people to jump into a marriage before they are old enought to really know themselves or each other.
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