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Post by redskyatnight on Feb 17, 2008 14:11:58 GMT -5
Man oh man. I had a great date with a guy I've been seeing for a year, awesome food and wine, heartful conversation and an evening of .....how should I say......passion. Well, in the middle of it, he says something and I say, "That's cause I love you" I mean......I do love him as my friend and as my lover, but I didn't want to go to that level yet. We both need to take this slowly. Yes, its been a year, but we both need more time.
He returned it about 10 minutes later in the throws of passion.
More than likely, we'll not say anything about it, but that doesn't change the fact that its been said. I get all giggly thinking about it then smack myslef in the head, homer simpson like, DOH!
I need to get the reins back in my hand and slow this down. So I guess my question is, how has the "L" word changed your relationships?
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Post by sheyd on Feb 18, 2008 10:35:36 GMT -5
Ok, everyone has their own time frames for it - and if it takes you 10 years and he is ok with that, that works for you two. However, if you said it quite naturally, and are giggly over it, it sounds like maybe you were ready before you thought you would be? It is ok if you are!
Shey
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Post by blazinheart on Feb 20, 2008 12:44:05 GMT -5
You said "I love you" because you meant it, big deal. Who cares how you love him, whether as a friend or whatever, the fact is, you love him, so you said it.
You've been hanging with the guy for a year! If I don't know whether I love someone within a year, there's something wrong. The only reason someone wouldn't drop the "l" word after a year of dating is because they're trying really hard not to say it or feel it. They're making a conscious effort not to fall in love or feel love for the other person.
Bottomline, it doesn't take a year to figure out whether you love someone.
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Post by redskyatnight on Feb 21, 2008 6:24:44 GMT -5
Well yes, I know I love him as my friend and as a human being and as the guy I hang out with. It's just that I feel like saying "I love you" takes the relationship to a different level. It kinda ups the ante and I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility.
I've been working really hard for the past 6 months to be my own emotional support and still need to work on it. For some reason, saying I love him, makes me fear that I will turn to him for ALL my emotional support, which is unhealthy. I'm just not ready to figure out how to keep myself strong in this.
But, its all good. I'm figuring it out.
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Post by blazinheart on Feb 21, 2008 19:55:03 GMT -5
It's just that I feel like saying "I love you" takes the relationship to a different level. It kinda ups the ante and I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. See, this makes absolutely no sense. If you don't want a relationship that goes to that next level, if you're not ready for that kind of responsibility then don't get involved in year-long relationships. It's like saying "I don't want to have children, and meanwhile you have unprotected sex". Well duh, one leads to the other. I'm sure you get my point. You can't be so naive to think that you can date a man for entire year and all the while hold him at bay emotionally. |
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Post by redskyatnight on Feb 22, 2008 7:24:41 GMT -5
I'm sure you get my point. You can't be so naive to think that you can date a man for entire year and all the while hold him at bay emotionally. hummm.....I see your point. I guess that's why I'm troubled by it. |
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blu
Full Member
Posts: 145
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Post by blu on Feb 27, 2008 0:49:09 GMT -5
Sometimes it jsut slips out - lol.
A man I have been talking to for about a month said it as he got off the phone the other day. I think it just slipped out so I pretended to not to hear it and he recovered by saying "I mean I'll miss you" - lol
I think for lots of us who were married for awhile it is as standard as saying good night to someone you talk to everyday.
Blu
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