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Post by rocko on Feb 26, 2008 14:57:02 GMT -5
My exh told me this for the reason he stopped speaking to and seeing his children.
When he talks to them or sees them it makes him miss them more when they are apart.
Now, I dont' think this is an adult way to handle things, but I did think it was one way to look at it. Instead of sucking it up and dealing with the pain of missing someone you just avoid them all together, at the expense of losing them all together.
Stay strong and keep thinking with your head, not your heart.
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Post by lumpy on Feb 26, 2008 15:07:03 GMT -5
Instead of sucking it up and dealing with the pain of missing someone you just avoid them all together, at the expense of losing them all together. I can understand doing that to an ex, but your children? Cop out! Sack up and be something that a least vaguely resembles a Dad.
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Post by rocko on Feb 26, 2008 15:09:25 GMT -5
His parental rights have been terminated. The children adopted and he is no longer their father.
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Post by lumpy on Feb 26, 2008 15:11:58 GMT -5
His parental rights have been terminated. The children adopted and he is no longer their father. I don't understand how anyone could turn their backs on their children. Totally alien to me.
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Post by rocko on Feb 26, 2008 15:13:16 GMT -5
Alien to me, too.
I also don't understand why a guy would stop all contact then come back and try to act like it didn't happen.
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Post by Saucy on Feb 26, 2008 16:30:10 GMT -5
men want their cake, and to eat it too. typical.
my own father tried to do that. when he went AWOL for 9 years of my life, then tried to come back and give me ice-cream and popsicles, it was my decision to not be angry, but keep that distance. I did however milked him for $$ for two years..and gave it to my mom. after all he put her through.
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Post by rocko on Feb 26, 2008 16:37:39 GMT -5
good for you, saucy. I would have done the same.
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Post by Phoenixx on Feb 27, 2008 6:33:55 GMT -5
My exh told me this for the reason he stopped speaking to and seeing his children. Now, I dont' think this is an adult way to handle things, but I did think it was one way to look at it. Instead of sucking it up and dealing with the pain of missing someone you just avoid them all together, at the expense of losing them all together. I understand that, but it would have been nice to have an explanation. To be told that. What did he think, that I would throw a fit? Shows how well he knows me. Thanks Rocko, for the moment I am....
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Post by murdock on Mar 6, 2008 1:49:53 GMT -5
what is the worst thing that could happen if you did give him a second chance? I think that people give up to quickly... that is only my opinion. Mabe he needed to marinate in the bull shit for a while to realize what is important. I don't know the whole story... but would it be so bad to see where he is going with this?
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Post by Phoenixx on Mar 6, 2008 18:08:49 GMT -5
what is the worst thing that could happen if you did give him a second chance? I think that people give up to quickly... that is only my opinion. Mabe he needed to marinate in the bull shit for a while to realize what is important. I don't know the whole story... but would it be so bad to see where he is going with this? Well, really it doesn't matter because I think he's going back to the ship for another contract. And I dont want to sit here and say that he still has feelings for me because he very probably doesn't. I dont know how to ask the questions I need to ask....
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Post by murdock on Mar 6, 2008 18:20:25 GMT -5
what is the worst thing that could happen if you did give him a second chance? I think that people give up to quickly... that is only my opinion. Mabe he needed to marinate in the bull shit for a while to realize what is important. I don't know the whole story... but would it be so bad to see where he is going with this? Well, really it doesn't matter because I think he's going back to the ship for another contract. And I dont want to sit here and say that he still has feelings for me because he very probably doesn't. I dont know how to ask the questions I need to ask.... Having a sailor husband is extremely difficult. I know, I married a coastie.
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