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Blondes
Mar 5, 2008 17:06:04 GMT -5
Post by pennylane on Mar 5, 2008 17:06:04 GMT -5
Blonde in a Boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.
The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!” ------------------------------------------------
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me." ------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
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Blondes
Mar 5, 2008 17:14:03 GMT -5
Post by murdock on Mar 5, 2008 17:14:03 GMT -5
how does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?
she opens the car door.
what is the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
so... what team are you guys from.
why can't the blonde pass her driving test?
because every time the car stops she jumps in the back seat.
I love blonde jokes!!!!
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Blondes
Mar 19, 2008 15:50:39 GMT -5
Post by murdock on Mar 19, 2008 15:50:39 GMT -5
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 15:30:29 GMT -5
Post by Phyxius on Mar 20, 2008 15:30:29 GMT -5
What does a blonde put on her ears to attract men?
Her ankles...
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Jaded
Full Member
Posts: 223
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 15:34:11 GMT -5
Post by Jaded on Mar 20, 2008 15:34:11 GMT -5
What has brown hair and bad breath?
A blonde doing a handstand spreadeagle
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 16:38:29 GMT -5
Post by wizer on Mar 20, 2008 16:38:29 GMT -5
These two blondes are walking through the forest, and they come upon some tracks.
The first blonde says, "look at these bear tracks!"
The second blonde says, "those aren't bear tracks, they are deer tracks"
The first blonde says, "no, I am SURE they are bear tracks!"
The second one says "NO, DEER TRACKS!"
Back and forth they go, and as they do they lean ever closer to the tracks as they argue back and forth.."Deer Tracks! Bear Tracks! Deer Tracks! Bear Tracks"
And they kept right at it until the train hit them.
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 16:50:52 GMT -5
Post by wizer on Mar 20, 2008 16:50:52 GMT -5
The blonde hops on the horse and it starts wildly bucking..faster and faster...she holds on tighter but she is afraid for her life! She starts screaming, and crying, and yelling for help, but the horse does not stop! Just as she fears that she is going to be thrown to her death, her life is saved!
(by the Kmart employee who pulls the plug)
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 18:51:22 GMT -5
Post by murdock on Mar 20, 2008 18:51:22 GMT -5
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"
The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."
The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"
The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"
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Jaded
Full Member
Posts: 223
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Blondes
Mar 20, 2008 20:48:16 GMT -5
Post by Jaded on Mar 20, 2008 20:48:16 GMT -5
The blonde hops on the horse and it starts wildly bucking..faster and faster...she holds on tighter but she is afraid for her life! She starts screaming, and crying, and yelling for help, but the horse does not stop! Just as she fears that she is going to be thrown to her death, her life is saved! (by the Kmart employee who pulls the plug) Ahhhh this reminds me of my goofy uncle arthur. He told me this story when i was about 20....he told me about my aunt mary's (his wife) first experience with horseback riding...he said she got so scared and was screaming....... So he went into Kmart and unplugged the damn thing.
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