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Post by lumpy on Mar 14, 2008 11:25:43 GMT -5
I sent my attorney a list of things I want back...among them are some crystal wine glasses that my mom had...a train set hanging in the garage...chainsaw, snowblower...my remaining clothes over there, some items from the shed and garage... And an opportunity to walk through the house and refresh my memory. Is it worth it, probably not. Yeah, it's worth it. Those are all totally reasonable requests and I imagine that they will be granted. It's better than just throwing your hands up and giving in.
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Post by wizer on Mar 14, 2008 11:34:52 GMT -5
Yeah, it's worth it. Those are all totally reasonable requests and I imagine that they will be granted. It's better than just throwing your hands up and giving in. Well, the ladder was a reasonable request too... Everything is a fight to the finish.
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newts
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Post by newts on Mar 14, 2008 19:47:39 GMT -5
Steve, Buy a new friggin ladder! Steve, this is not a game and it's not based on a competition. When "you" decide to leave a marriage, you must also realise that you will come out of the situation with nothing! This was your decision, it doesn't matter if it's yours or hers, just let it go and get this settlement over and done with! It doesn't have to be nasty, you dont have to play nasty, you just choose to. Nothing? The law says I get half. I may not get even that much, but NOTHING? That's a bit extreme, dontcha think? Welcome to hugthats, S-, good to have you back here even with your post about me getting nothing. Sorry Steve, This crap happened to me in my divorce and I just let him have it all, as long as I got the antique furniture that has been in my family for generations. I actually loved starting a fresh with nothing that reminded me of my past marriage. O.K fight for the friggin ladder!
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Post by wizer on Mar 14, 2008 20:09:02 GMT -5
Well, I gave up on the ladder.
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Post by Phyxius on Mar 14, 2008 22:12:40 GMT -5
Yeah, it's worth it. Those are all totally reasonable requests and I imagine that they will be granted. It's better than just throwing your hands up and giving in. Well, the ladder was a reasonable request too... Everything is a fight to the finish. Pick your battles, save your energy. If you waste it all on the small dramas, you'll get flattened by the big dramas...
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Post by wizer on Mar 14, 2008 22:23:06 GMT -5
Pick your battles, save your energy. If you waste it all on the small dramas, you'll get flattened by the big dramas... She's been winning on all fronts...casualties are high on my side of the line. At this point I don't want to wave the white flag any more...it's getting somewhat tattered at this point.
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Post by Magalucia on Mar 14, 2008 22:29:29 GMT -5
Pick your battles, save your energy. If you waste it all on the small dramas, you'll get flattened by the big dramas... She's been winning on all fronts...casualties are high on my side of the line. At this point I don't want to wave the white flag any more...it's getting somewhat tattered at this point. She can take your money, but without your help she can't take your freedom or peace of mind. She knows how to push your buttons so it is up to you to change the codes and let her not get under your skin so badly. Phyx is right about picking your battles. Try to keep your sanity. I hope this will be over soon.
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Post by Phyxius on Mar 14, 2008 23:57:58 GMT -5
Pick your battles, save your energy. If you waste it all on the small dramas, you'll get flattened by the big dramas... She's been winning on all fronts...casualties are high on my side of the line. At this point I don't want to wave the white flag any more...it's getting somewhat tattered at this point. Believe me, I can relate. Especially today.
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Post by wizer on Mar 15, 2008 0:14:00 GMT -5
She's been winning on all fronts...casualties are high on my side of the line. At this point I don't want to wave the white flag any more...it's getting somewhat tattered at this point. Believe me, I can relate. Especially today. I still say we make a deal to take out each other's ex's. No one will ever suspect.
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Post by rocko on Mar 15, 2008 9:01:54 GMT -5
I took everything. I put EVERYTHING we owned into one HUGE enclosed trailer and left with it all.
He didn't fight. He said one negative thing and i just said, "you have ripped the children't family apart the least you can do is make sure wherever we end up they have a home". I did leave behind a couple of pieces from the kitchen, a futon, and a TV. What more does a bachlor need?
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Post by wizer on Mar 15, 2008 9:21:46 GMT -5
A "bachelor" still has rights to half of the marital assets and some of his possessions might be in that pile of stuff that he leaves behind.
He might have "torn the family apart" and he might have been "half responsible" for the breakup or anything in between...but he is still entitled to some of the stuff.
Whether or not you think a guy "needs it or not".
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newts
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Post by newts on Mar 15, 2008 9:22:52 GMT -5
I took everything. I put EVERYTHING we owned into one HUGE enclosed trailer and left with it all. He didn't fight. He said one negative thing and i just said, "you have ripped the children't family apart the least you can do is make sure wherever we end up they have a home". I did leave behind a couple of pieces from the kitchen, a futon, and a TV. What more does a bachlor need? Wow, I wouldn't want to cross you! I suspect your current hubby knows he should never mess with you?
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Post by wizer on Mar 15, 2008 9:26:45 GMT -5
I took everything. I put EVERYTHING we owned into one HUGE enclosed trailer and left with it all. He didn't fight. He said one negative thing and i just said, "you have ripped the children't family apart the least you can do is make sure wherever we end up they have a home". I did leave behind a couple of pieces from the kitchen, a futon, and a TV. What more does a bachlor need? Wow, I wouldn't want to cross you! I suspect your current hubby knows he should never mess with you? If he doesn't he is going to find out sooner or later. Hopefully before she starts loading up the trailer with all their stuff.
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Post by sheyd on Mar 15, 2008 14:35:39 GMT -5
I don't think it is ABOUT need - I think in both Rocko's and Steve's case it is about what people feel is "right". Rocko felt he lost his rights when he cheated and tore his family apart. The kids should get everything material, because he took away the other things. He gets what he needs, but his desires about material things then came second to his kids' need. (Btw - I know Rocko - her situation is different from Steves in that if she left him more her kids MIGHT have had to do without, and she doesn't get money from the jerk, so it isn't like she could just go buy new).
In Steve's case, he feels he has a "right" to the stuff because he paid for it, he worked hard, and sharing is only fair. Plus, he knows she wouldn't be hurting at all if she DID give him half, she would still be able to provide for the kids...
And Steve - I think you do have a "right" to claim half. The question is, is the price you would have to pay to claim that right worth it? Because what you would be getting is essentially financial (since you can replace it) and it costs to get those things (legal fees, etc.) fiscally you end up probably in worse shape. Emotionally you would feel "justice is served", but again - at what cost? Your other emotions would be being upset during the fight, and at what you DIDN'T get, guilt over your kids, and upset that your kids might think you ARE trying to take from them (which is probably what their mother will say, right?). In the end, even the "justice" part will be a hollow victory, because of the costs.
So... is it worth it?
Shey
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Post by lumpy on Mar 15, 2008 14:55:31 GMT -5
I don't think it is ABOUT need - I think in both Rocko's and Steve's case it is about what people feel is "right". So... is it worth it? I think in Steve's case it's both. He needs to see that something about the whole divorce process is right. I think his requests are totally reasonable and see no reason why they shouldn't be granted. It may only lead to a small victory but I think he needs one of those right about now. He's already paying the lawyer so I doubt the submission of a small list is going to add much to that cost. I think it's well worth it as it is reasonable.
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