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Post by finding on Mar 15, 2008 22:53:13 GMT -5
Cleaning out my dresser I found your checkbook. I don't know what I am still doing with it, but I shouldn't have looked inside. The last check written was July 18, 2007, just nine days later and you were gone.
It seems that everything I touch lately is tainted by you somehow and no matter how I try I can't get away from you. It's been months and I'm 1,500 miles from where it all ended. Why can't you just let me be and let me live my life in peace?
Perhaps I have stirred the pot by organizing the house and getting rid of things, but this is more than ridiculous. Out of nowhere the other day I felt like I was back to the day you died. I could feel the cold concrete under my bare feet again and see you laying at the end of the street under the blanket.
Will you please get the fuck out of my head so I can live my life? I need the peace and some sense of normalcy?
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Post by wizer on Mar 15, 2008 22:54:28 GMT -5
Just keep tossing the stuff as you find it. Eventually the physical reminders will be gone and the memories will start to fade.
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Post by crushy on Mar 16, 2008 14:57:00 GMT -5
Cleaning out my dresser I found your checkbook. I don't know what I am still doing with it, but I shouldn't have looked inside. The last check written was July 18, 2007, just nine days later and you were gone. It seems that everything I touch lately is tainted by you somehow and no matter how I try I can't get away from you. It's been months and I'm 1,500 miles from where it all ended. Why can't you just let me be and let me live my life in peace? Perhaps I have stirred the pot by organizing the house and getting rid of things, but this is more than ridiculous. Out of nowhere the other day I felt like I was back to the day you died. I could feel the cold concrete under my bare feet again and see you laying at the end of the street under the blanket. Will you please get the fuck out of my head so I can live my life? I need the peace and some sense of normalcy? I'm sorry I can't recall your other user name, but if you are who I think you are, you are still doing sooooooo great given what you've been dealt. I admire your strength so much. I don't remember if you were officially separated when he passed or not, but it's expected to have many things that will be his or remind you of him. I have a habit of getting rid of every single reminder of the relationship at the beginning of the end. I've even had times where things ended up working out and regretted ridding my home (life) of things. I try to tell me it's just stuff, but there are always so many things and memories associated with those things. My fiance and I took a break from each other for a few weeks about a year ago. I don't know how I knew it, but I didn't get rid of one shirt of his from my closet, nothing. I knew we'd figure things out and it was liberating for us. I realize a checkbook is not something you'd want to pass down to your kids, but other things...what if you box such things up and put them in storage for them at some time when they are older and ready? I'm sorry I can't give you good advice because I just can't even imagine what you and your children must be going through. Are you all still in Arizona? I apologize if I have the wrong user hooked up with the wrong situation. Crushy  |
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Post by finding on Mar 19, 2008 14:06:16 GMT -5
I think you've got the story right. I'm still in AZ, have been here since Sept and in my new place since mid October.
We have stuff of his around the house that are out for the kids, his massage chair, and the fugly deer head that the kids wanted to keep.
Because the move happened so fast I wasn't able to go through his things and get rid of the personal stuff before hand. Packing up his storage shed my mom found his box of condoms, and about a month ago I came across a pair of fishnet stockings in his stuff. I almost vomitted then.
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Post by wizer on Mar 19, 2008 15:09:45 GMT -5
and the fugly deer head that the kids wanted to keep. I think you mean the "broken" fugly deer head, don't you? |
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Post by finding on Mar 19, 2008 15:19:53 GMT -5
and the fugly deer head that the kids wanted to keep. I think you mean the "broken" fugly deer head, don't you? Yes, one of the antlers is broken due to the break in the other day. I still need to get that fixed before the kids get home, will super glue work on a broken antler? |
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Post by wizer on Mar 19, 2008 15:23:27 GMT -5
will super glue work on a broken antler? You need the super glue that is labeled "for wood, plastic, ceramics, and deer antlers" otherwise it probably won't hold. |
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Post by murdock on Mar 19, 2008 15:35:42 GMT -5
I think you mean the "broken" fugly deer head, don't you? Yes, one of the antlers is broken due to the break in the other day. I still need to get that fixed before the kids get home, will super glue work on a broken antler? it will buy you some time and so will a hot glue gun... use craft glue or wood glue... epoxy is best. |
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