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Post by jules on Jan 26, 2008 13:02:44 GMT -5
I should have been the one to leave. These trappings of my old life that I fought so hard to retain because I thought familiarity would breed comfort during a time of such chaos and uncertainty only serve to bring me aggrevation. I take no comfort in these worthless possessions. They hold me back from moving on, not just psychologically, but practically as well. Why did I so badly want to remain caretaker of a home for a family that no longer exists? Why remain in a town, in a social circle, that is no longer conducive to my life? I should have been the one to leave everything behind and start fresh. I thought that I was so smart to attempt to make him see the consequences of his actions. And now he's free and moving on with a new life. And I'm left with nothing but skeletons to keep me company. I guess I really was the stupid one all along.
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Post by kittenhart on Jan 26, 2008 14:53:17 GMT -5
1. You are not stupid 2. Although the possessions that you both owned and staying in the house may not comfort you, and may act as daily reminders of the life you wanted together but will never have, the physical act of relocation REALLY takes more out of one than it looks like it will....it damn near destroyed me physically and I have the MRI to show for it. It's easier on you and cheaper to repaint/have a garage sale/go to IKEA and buy some crap furniture that doesn't act as a constant reminder. 3. A house is a valuable asset that you can use to get the life you want when you've emotionally levelled out. After some time has passed, you may decide to sell the house and move somewhere different, or into something smaller that you can lock and leave (like a condo...I used to love gardening and home renos but stick a fork in me....I'm f*cking done with it now). You could use some of the money to go back to school to do something completely different now that you don't have to support HIM while He gets to do whatever He wants 4. Don't do anything drastic for a year. Isn't that what they always say when someone dies? Think it over, run different scenarios, but don't feel trapped by the house. Ultimately, I think whether you leave or stay, either way sucks and hurts the same amount. I'm still bitter about all the tiles I laid in that house and my apple trees that I grafted with scions, etc.....I plan on sneaking back next Sept. and picking all the f*cking apples in the middle of the night. Yeah, I'm healthy, eh? Hugs to you Jules.... I totally empathize with your need to move on faster....but you could get alot of money out of that house if you work it right.
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