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Post by crushy on Apr 24, 2008 14:41:33 GMT -5
I think I just figured out why I'm so screwed up and my 15 yr old failed Driver's Ed... I thought I was past it, I thought I'd dealt with it, but 1 yr later, I get 70 pics of the scene and get sick to think of how lucky I am I have all my teeth, let alone only 3 broken bones. Why does God spare some of us? I'd already survived an end-over-end roll into oncoming traffic on the other side of the highway after being hit by a semi. Why did God spare me? Dammit, I don't feel worthy to have lived while so many incredible people died. I'm just sick...
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Post by loshyra on Apr 24, 2008 14:48:26 GMT -5
T...
Do I have to hunt you down and tell you why you DESERVE to live again?
You were spared because YOU are special and YOUR BOYS need you!! Think how screwed they would be if you were gone and Troy was raising them.... I shutter when I think of that!
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Post by redskyatnight on Apr 24, 2008 15:07:25 GMT -5
We don't know the reasons for things to happen the way they do. You are spared because you are needed here. While others, maybe their time here was done.
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Post by JimB on Apr 24, 2008 15:39:13 GMT -5
I'm sorry, but the idea that there's ANY connection between that and the attention span of your 15 year old is really funny. As for why you're here, well, why not you? Life is a wonderful thing, but you don't have to pass a test to earn it. And there's very little correlation between what we get and what we "deserve". (Fortunately for me. ;D) I know for a fact that you're a beautiful person in ways you don't even comprehend. If you yourself can't figure out why you're so lucky, just enjoy the gratitude of those whose lives you've been able to touch by simply being alive. Isn't that enough?
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Post by sheyd on Apr 24, 2008 15:51:15 GMT -5
I think she meant cause he is afraid of driving and getting into an accident...
I, for one, am VERY glad you made it - it is amazing you did, looking at that wreck. I wish more people could walk away from wrecks like that, too - but the fact that they didn't doesn't mean you shouldn't. We will take every "save" we can - and are EXPECIALLY glad one of them is YOU!
Shey
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Post by kittenhart on Apr 24, 2008 16:40:07 GMT -5
Why does God spare some of us? I'd already survived an end-over-end roll into oncoming traffic on the other side of the highway after being hit by a semi. Why did God spare me? Dammit, I don't feel worthy to have lived while so many incredible people died. I'm just sick... We can't begin to see the entire pattern of things in the universe...we are limited in what we can know by our sensory systems which are limited by things like wavelengths and experiential windows....but there is a reason why you are still here.....I am sure of that. Don't you just feel so happy when you move your arms and fingers around? Just be grateful every day. I know I am alot more grateful these days for the simple things..... and maybe that is the biggest thing I have learned from all of this....is how to replace the regrets that were permeating my thoughts with gratitude... Walk on, girl.
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Post by Mod (PQ-Kermie) on Apr 26, 2008 20:33:39 GMT -5
Do you think for one second that that the force that kept you alive was stronger than those that have been taken..... in my opnion its not... my father used to tell me.. when its your time to go. its your time. Doesn't matter wether its in a car.. your heart fails.. or the uptown bus loses its breaks. You are still here for a reason.. you still have something to give to this world.. don't throw it away feeling sorry for those that have gone before us... use it.. make a difference.. if not but for a smile in a child's memory.. this time that you have been given does not come to everyone. For you to sit there and be depressed about it only takes away from the very gift you have been given.
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Post by crushy on Apr 26, 2008 20:54:56 GMT -5
Do you think for one second that that the force that kept you alive was stronger than those that have been taken..... in my opnion its not... my father used to tell me.. when its your time to go. its your time. Doesn't matter wether its in a car.. your heart fails.. or the uptown bus loses its breaks. You are still here for a reason.. you still have something to give to this world.. don't throw it away feeling sorry for those that have gone before us... use it.. make a difference.. if not but for a smile in a child's memory.. this time that you have been given does not come to everyone. For you to sit there and be depressed about it only takes away from the very gift you have been given. Thanks, that makes sense. I posted just as I was opening all of them and I was pretty raw. I'm feeling better now, but I'm trying to find the fine line between leaving the past in the past and remembering bad things that occurred in the past so I am sure not to take the present and future for granted. I just thank God my sons were not in the car...and frankly, I'm glad my son is not in a hurry to drive like I was. I don't want him to be scared, but to have a healthy respect for what can happen, whether it be your own mistakes or someone else's. Thanks to all of you!! Crushy
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Post by RO on Apr 26, 2008 22:10:01 GMT -5
You know you are still here because you are one of the rare beauties in the ugly world we live in.
Your light needs to shine and look at how many lives you have touched. I know of quite a few that are near and dear to my heart...and that is just in this forum.
Don't forget how precious the gift of life is...how you choose to spend it and who you choose to share it with make you the remarkable beauty that you are.
It has been an honor to get to know you, T.
j
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Post by Mod (PQ-Kermie) on Apr 26, 2008 23:50:21 GMT -5
The scary part is that most of us will never or have never been that close to death and don't understand the full impact that it can have... most of us take this life so much for granted.. almost to the point that we deserve it.... you see it so much more these days in the youth. I think if everyone could have just a taste of what you have lived through, this world would be a much better place
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Post by crushy on May 10, 2008 15:29:18 GMT -5
Attorneys...gotta love 'em. My accident attorney just told me to go ahead and have my thoracic surgery. I told him, 'You do it!'. I don't care how much more it would mean to me, I'm not going in to have myself open from the front, organs removed while they fuse 2 levels in my thoracic spine and then recovery time?! Why in the heck would I do that if I don't have to right now?! Yeah, I'm in pain, but I'm not willing to do that yet!!! Oh, so I read the IME report and that's how I find out they expect I will have to have my ankle fused later in life. Okay, thanks for telling me rather than waiting for me to read that. What does that mean anyway? Will I lose all rotation in that ankle? I broke the lower end of my tibia (not my ankle) and fibula (both surgically fixed as well as my hand), but now I hear I'm not done other than the arthritis and pain kneeling, etc? Oh, just found out some of my organs dropped during impact, but again, I'm not doing anything surgical unless my gizzards fall out. So, next I get to go to a plastic surgeon for the scarring. Please God, just let this be the last Dr. I'm getting REALLY sick of this. I have my accident attorney, my custody attorney, the attorney I hired that specializes in Bankruptcy so I can be sure to get my ex to pay his domestic obligations and the Guardian ad Lit em (attorney appointed for my sons). I'm not very happy right now since my 12 yr old mentioned suicide 2 wks ago. I talked to him for 3 hrs (initially, certainly not the end), he seemed to feel a ton better, but when I called and left messages with his Counselor and Guardian, I heard back from the Counselor one hour before his scheduled appt (only because I'd switched his appt with his older brother to get him in sooner) and never did hear from the Guardian. Okay, you want me to believe you are here for more than $2,000 every 3 wks? Oh, and he doesn't give itemized stmts unless ordered by the court because he doesn't want everyone to know who he is talking to because it inhibits communication. So, I get to pay half the bill, but 90% can be because of my psycho ex?! I refinanced my home, got my credit score up really high and thanks to having to come up with more attorney's fees this month, my score drops 52 pts for 1 30 day late rpt on my home loan?! I only owe on my home and my car. I knew it would drop, but 52 pts!!!!! Be careful everyone. I love those 'freecreditreport.com' commercials, but I'm telling ya, they are right on the money. I went through a credit repair place to help clean mine because I was a victim of identity fraud a few years ago and it was worth every dime. If you want the name of the place, PM me. I will give you my personal endorsement. I'm just damned tired. I have so many things going on I can't mention because of possible legal ramifications, but I have taken measures and they are going to pay off. I just have to be careful what I say here since my ex-hole is psycho. Thanks for letting me vent.....It's been a while for me.
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Post by freckles on May 10, 2008 17:09:19 GMT -5
Surgery is the Last Resort
A LOT of People get WORSE because of Surgery or Die during it
Dont have Surgery unless your Life is on the line
just my 2 cents
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Post by crushy on May 10, 2008 18:40:59 GMT -5
Surgery is the Last Resort A LOT of People get WORSE because of Surgery or Die during it Dont have Surgery unless your Life is on the line just my 2 cents That's just my point, Freck. I've had many surgeries where there was no choice, but this one is a choice at this point. I can't imagine going through surgery just to increase your $ in damages. I'd do every one of my surgeries again, but I stand by those I have put off. I don't feel good about them and the success rate is just not worth the odds at this point. Times and medical technology changes so quickly...who knows where we will be in a matter of years?
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Post by kittenhart on May 10, 2008 22:36:28 GMT -5
You and I have talked about the thoracic surgery and you know the risks of waiting as well as the risks of proceeding and are doing what is best for you in your circumstances....you can't let other people force the issue according to their agendas....it's just too big of a decision. But you know that....and you also know that a credit score is just a number, in the end.....it's not a measure of what you've accomplished financially in your life, hun. You've accomplished alot for yourself and your boys.
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Post by crushy on May 20, 2008 14:27:48 GMT -5
Okay, so why is it I've had 3 accidents make the news and my ex-hole has only had the sniffles?! He got off and I had to have my tail bone removed 13 yrs later after breaking it while giving birth to our oldest son and he has the kahunas to insult me when I have pain? Turned out I was special enough to be allergic to the internal stitches and went back into surgery a month later?! Why didn't he have an open hole bleeding for 9 mos? Yep, I'm bitchy today. It's just not fair. The SOB didn't even clean a toilet (4, yes 4) until we'd been married 10 yrs. Oh yeah, I'm bitchy... I freaking salt and peppered his food!! Of course, no food could touch the other food and heaven forbid the meat was tender and juicy....had to put it back in the oven without cover to dry it out just to have ketchup poured on it. I'm obviously in pain and pissed he's got it so easy. I can't wait to face off w/ him in court in June. I literally want to choke him when I see our sons hurt. Of course, he's got a new one, so he doesn't have time for ours. A$$!!
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