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Post by shattered on Aug 27, 2008 12:19:59 GMT -5
Dr Laura has some good books on Relationships A New one is the Proper Care and Feeding of Marrage I thoght about calling Dr Laura Slessinger on the Radio But, I did not want Her to have a Heart Attack or a stroke If I told Her about my ExWife and Divorce Frecks, you of all people need to call Dr. Laura!! She gives some really level-headed advice -- and seeing that you don't seem to take any of our advice, maybe you'll take hers!
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Post by hoodieprincess on Aug 27, 2008 12:43:41 GMT -5
Yes, I think that's exactly right -- if he flakes out on moving back, the bloom is gone. Period. And that, frankly, is what I'm terrified of right now. You might have to look at it this way... You had an amazing time. But as best possible, try to go back to living the way you did before your trip. It will put less stress on you and the situation as a whole. Let it just be. You talked to him before, keep doing that now but try as much as you can to not obsess about what each thing means. If you can stay busy and just keep doing what you were doing, you'd be suprised how soon it will reach the time-frame set for his move. If he moves, AMAZING. If not, you will have already been doing as much as you can to have not thrown off the balance of the life you'd made for yourself. And, you can then just cross that bridge if/when the time comes. Try not to make too many big life changes on the chance that he's coming. Wait until it happens and go from there.
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Post by shattered on Aug 27, 2008 13:03:55 GMT -5
That is excellent advice, hoodie. Thank you.
I am trying.
I thought I would have my emotions more under control, that I would have learned something from my terrible recent experience with the ex, and it's just really scaring me how much I don't.
I think your post may help me focus on myself rather than him. Thank you.
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Post by freckles on Aug 27, 2008 13:11:04 GMT -5
Dr Laura has some good books on Relationships A New one is the Proper Care and Feeding of Marrage I thoght about calling Dr Laura Slessinger on the Radio But, I did not want Her to have a Heart Attack or a stroke If I told Her about my ExWife and Divorce Frecks, you of all people need to call Dr. Laura!! She gives some really level-headed advice -- and seeing that you don't seem to take any of our advice, maybe you'll take hers! What advice ? ?
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Post by ionysis on Aug 27, 2008 15:17:58 GMT -5
Bugger that Shattered throw yurself into it! Life is for living after all. I'd rather get hurt again having chucked myself in at the deep end and swooned with longing and passion than hide my heart away because I was scared. Let yourself get excited, in my views the highs are usually worth the lows. But that is only my view - many would disagree.
Mmmmm. Maybe need to up my medication again...
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Post by hoodieprincess on Aug 27, 2008 16:57:26 GMT -5
Maybe I now sound like the party pooper but I wanted to remind you to enjoy it...Even if this doesn't work in the end, isn't it great to remember that you can feel that happy again? And, if this doesn't work, that usually makes you feel better about living your life and knowing you can persue something again! You do because you know it can be that good!!
**Just the same, I do hope this works out and you don't just have to use it for future refrence. *wink*
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Post by shattered on Aug 28, 2008 14:41:17 GMT -5
Bugger that Shattered throw yurself into it! Life is for living after all. I'd rather get hurt again having chucked myself in at the deep end and swooned with longing and passion than hide my heart away because I was scared. Let yourself get excited, in my views the highs are usually worth the lows. But that is only my view - many would disagree. Mmmmm. Maybe need to up my medication again... Well, I agree with you, to a point. I'm just scared there might not be anything to throw myself into! And I can't risk giving up my own self again, like I did with the last guy. But if he sticks, around, you can bet I'll be receptive. I have no intention of giving up on him if there's a realistic chance this might be something.
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Post by shattered on Aug 28, 2008 14:42:39 GMT -5
Maybe I now sound like the party pooper but I wanted to remind you to enjoy it...Even if this doesn't work in the end, isn't it great to remember that you can feel that happy again? And, if this doesn't work, that usually makes you feel better about living your life and knowing you can persue something again! You do because you know it can be that good!! **Just the same, I do hope this works out and you don't just have to use it for future refrence. *wink* No, no, you didn't sound like a party pooper at all -- I knew exactly what you meant.
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Post by shattered on Aug 28, 2008 14:50:18 GMT -5
Well, he ended up calling last night.
And this morning.
Still can't relax about it, though. Still keep worrying he's going to change his mind. That his euphoria from last week is going to wear off and that his feelings will, too. I guess I'm just gonna be like this for a while. Just afraid to trust that this is going to be something with real potential. I'm terrified.
I don't let him know I'm freaking out -- I put that burden on my poor co-workers! On the phone with him, I'm all easy-going, lovey-dovey, and jokey, the way we usually are together.
Thank God I have these two fabulous guys I work with. They are keeping me sane.
And you guys, of course!!
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Post by redskyatnight on Aug 29, 2008 5:19:40 GMT -5
Wow. I missed all the excitment!
I think its fabulous you had a great time and yes, I think this guy may be moving a bit fast, but you don't have to move at his pace. If it is for real, it will stand the test of time. Enjoy your time now, today. If he is crazy, it will show up.
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Post by shattered on Sept 2, 2008 17:54:26 GMT -5
Thank you, redsky!!
He said he booked his plane ticket and his arriving here on Sept. 21.
He calls me every day and acts so gaga about me, sometimes I really do wonder whether my mother is right about him being mentally not right. Not that I don't think I'm not gaga-worthy -- it's just that he is soooo over the top.
But I would have given my right arm if my ex had ever acted one tenth as crazy about me -- so I have every intention of enjoying this while it lasts.
He said he booked his plane ticket and his arriving here on Sept. 21.
He's already talking about what we're going to do for Christmas.
Omigod. I'm terrified this will all blow up in my face.
But all in all, I feel really excited, and I'm staying on board!!
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Post by kittenhart on Sept 2, 2008 18:22:58 GMT -5
He calls me every day and acts so gaga about me, sometimes I really do wonder whether my mother is right about him being mentally not right. Not that I don't think I'm not gaga-worthy -- it's just that he is soooo over the top. But I would have given my right arm if my ex had ever acted one tenth as crazy about me -- so I have every intention of enjoying this while it lasts. Shattered, so glad to hear that things in Paris went even better than you had hoped....I am not one to rain on anyone's parade and although I hope you are being careful with your heart, I hope even more that you don't need to be.
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Post by shattered on Sept 3, 2008 8:41:52 GMT -5
although I hope you are being careful with your heart, I hope even more that you don't need to be. Thanks, Kitten -- I love that!
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Post by shattered on Sept 3, 2008 15:01:42 GMT -5
OK, it's been well over a week, so I have to ask: Nearly everyone has responded to this post -- but not goods and shey. Are they not around anymore or just not speaking to me anymore?
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Post by redskyatnight on Sept 3, 2008 16:01:43 GMT -5
OK, it's been well over a week, so I have to ask: Nearly everyone has responded to this post -- but not goods and shey. Are they not around anymore or just not speaking to me anymore? Don't be sad. I haven't seen either of them around for a week (?) maybe more.
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