Think the kid had enough for one week...&%^#!

[hoodieprincess]

Ugh...I've about had it!

My son shouldn't be worried about going to school AND daycare!!! Those should be safe places and I've had enough I could scream!

My kids' daycare has two buildings. One is a "school age" building and sits on school property. Most nights when I get off work, that is where they still are. In the even they've left, they walk the 1 block to the main building.

So, I show up to get T Friday (as L's dad picked her up from school for his weekend with her). The lights were on at school age so I stopped. It looked like a tornado went through it. I wasn't sure what happened but the kids weren't there. The daycare teacher (one of a couple who rotates schedules at that building) was there w/ what looked like a parent and two kids and they were cleaning. She just said there was an incident and the kids already went to the main building. Fine. So I go get T from the main building. While getting him, there was nothing but normal interaction with the teacher from the main building and one of the other teachers from the "school age" building.

In the hall on the way out, T asked me, "Mom, did they tell you what happened today?" I blankly just looked at him and told him nobody had told me anything and asked. He told me a kid had thrown a box that had crayons in it and it had hit him in the head. I looked, he had a little red spot but nothing that wouldn't be gone by the next day. Knowing there are almost all boys at the center, that sort of thing has happened before so I didn't stress it. Instead, in the van on the way home, T told me the whole story. Here is where I proceed to get really pissed...

So, a kid went ballistic at the daycare. He apparently got mad over something and started throwing a couple things around. He then proceeded to flip over a shelving unit. He started throwing heavy items, flipped another set of shelves, threw a table...So, at some point, T said a bunch of the kids ran to the bathroom because they were scared because this kid was trying to attack them. At one point, I guess it got quiet and that is when the oldest of the kids in the bathroom opened the door and the kid threw this big box w/ crayons into the bathroom and it hit T in the head. The older girl closed the door again. T said it was horrible and he was scared because you could basically hear this kid destroying the room. Then he said the kid came and opened the door and tried to attack the kids in the bathroom. The older girl shoved the other boy back out of the bathroom and closed the door and proceeded to sit in front of it. It took several of the kids holding the door (including T) because the kid outside was trying to break it in to get to the kids inside. I asked what the teacher was doing and T said she'd tried to call the main building for help but the kid took the phone from her and smashed it into the counter so it broke. I guess eventually a 2nd teacher showed from the main building. T said that they could just hear the two following him around and trying to calm him down until he tried to write on one w/ a marker and then she started fighting w/ the kid. There is so much more to the story T provided over Friday evening but I can't even begin to get it all down...

Seriously, nobody freaking told me a damn thing!! That is not acceptable! So, I called the daycare this morning and talked to the main teacher from the school age because the director wasn't in yet. She proceeded to tell me the director is preparing a letter to send home. Bull sh!t! She should be calling parents. She couldn't believe the other teachers hadn't told me when I got T and apologized a million times. The thing is, her story is different from T's. She tried to tell me the teacher sent all the kids to the bathroom when T insists that he knows a couple had been out in the main part of the building. I am just dumbfounded. T is now afraid to go to daycare. It shouldn't be like this! I am so angry and not even sure where to go or what to do about it!

I want to pull them over how they've handled this and yet am restricted because daycares in the town where I work and we live don't shuttle to the little suburb they attend school in.


AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[gdgross]

wow.

[finding]

Is there any way you could put the kids in a school in the town you work in or find a private sitter who either works out of their home or comes to yours for the afternoon?

[rocko]

Do you know if any of the other children (friends of your kids) have a stay at home mom/dad??

I know a few here that do afterschool care for friends for a really small amount of $. It gives them a little extra cash for spending money and won't cost you much.

I don't know what the rules are for them telling you what happened and in what amount of time they have to tell you. There are parent advocates available through the state (or there should be) if you do not feel like you are being heard.

[redskyatnight]

The kid who acted out should be discharged immediately! That day care is dang lucky one of those shelves didn't fall on a child and seriously injure them. They would be looking at a lawsuit.

It really irks me when the one who acts up gets all the attention and the ones who do the right thing get s@rewed in the process.

Secondly, the teacher should have removed all the children from the building and gotten help. Maybe going to the bathroom was her only option. You should have been informed immediately of the "incident." Their behavior is totally unacceptable.

Is there an agency you can call, like the licensing agency, and inform them of what happened. Not so much to get them in trouble, but so someone will train the workers how to handle this, or any other situation.

[sheyd]

Wow- that would send me running from the school - it sounds like those teachers don't know how to handle that kind of situation! I'm sure that kid will be removed, but please make sure the teachers get some kind of training? I would think calling your county social work office might not only assist in ensuring they follow procedures, but perhaps that they get some trainers in to explain how to deal with an out of control kid appropriately?

I hope the director has spoken to you directly already? If your child was hit in the head, it should have had a full written report - that alone would make me angry. I am just amazed they are allowed to stay open with this happening!

[jules]

I hope that you and your son have been able to calm down over this since you posted it.

Yes, the teacher who signed your son out with you ought to have at least briefed you on that afternoon's incident. That was wrong.

However, the director writing a letter to all parents is an appropriate course of action, rather than calling every parent and potentially inviting hysteria which may prevent her from relaying the facts.

I am sorry that your son had a scary experience. However, other than the teacher not briefing you, from what you wrote, it sounds as though the staff handled the incident as best as they could at the time. What I would want to know is if the child who provoked the incident has been suspended or expelled from the daycare. This kid obviously has serious issues, and I'd hope that the daycare is assisting his parents in getting him the help he needs.

My ex was a daycare teacher the entire 10 years we were together, so I guess I'm used to seeing things from that perspective. Any time you have a group of children together, there is a possibility of an incident. And while it does sound as though it was a scary experience, it sounds like they did their best to keep the children safe, which is the first priority.

Personally, I would tend to have more confidence in a licensed, accredited child care center (assuming it is accredited), than some random person watching kids in his or her home for a few extra bucks. But that is just my opinion, and admittedly it is biased because the center where my ex worked was excellent -- all teachers were educated in early childhood education, they were required to attend weekend seminars on a regular basis, etc. That doesn't mean every day was perfect. Whenever you get a group of children together, there is a potential for an incident. What matters is how it is handled to best ensure the safety of all (including the instigating child.)

Edited to add: I just reread your description -- I had thought that the teacher had the children go into the bathroom, not another child! Ok, there is a problem here. Why was there only one teacher in the classroom? In CT, state law mandates at least two teachers be in the classroom at all times (which means 3 on staff, so teachers can literally step out of the room.) I would imagine the same laws would be in effect in other states. That way one teacher could have tackled the child acting out (in a "hug" hold) and the other could have ushered the children to the nearest safe place.

I would definitely speak with the director regarding their policy about the number of teachers in each classroom during each shift. It does sound as though they were negligent.

[hoodieprincess]

Okay, so I got off work last night and called the site director immediately. She was more than happy to talk to me about any of my concerns which was reassuring.

The child attends daycare two days a week and they have him suspended from care for this week while an investigation is pending. He may or may not be allowed to return the following week. She has also contacted the county and spoke with a care technician who works with the state social services department and is having a trainer come out two evenings the week following Thanksgiving to work with and train the newer staff (the more tenured staff have been through the training). That will cover anger management for themselves, anger management in helping deal with the children, extra information to defuse a heated situation, safety procedures to ensure the safety of the other children, as well as legal information on what they are and are not allowed to do should a situation like that ever arise again. She stated they are also working on staff rotations to find different people to be at the school age building.

I felt much better after speaking with her and she apologized a million times. She stated she'd been out of town until Sunday and had been doing all she could during the day Monday to investigate. She is looking into why a report wasn't filed about T being hit in the head during the outburst. She is afraid that knowing T, he didn't actually speak up about that part but more concerned that he did and the younger teacher involved didn't acknowledge it because she felt she had a bigger situation to deal with. She also wanted to check on me not being informed as the teacher that was available when I had picked T up hadn't discussed the incident with me and yet she was supposed to be telling all parents and reported that she had. The director apologized that I may had slipped through the cracks. Also, they did spend about 45-60 minutes yesterday when the kids got out of school with the senior teacher for the school age building having a kind of open discussion. They all sat in a circle and talked very openly about the day before as well as thoughts, fears, concerns, etc. T wouldn't open up at first but the woman spent some 1-on-1 time with T after and he opened up a lot. He seemed to be dealing with it all much better by last night.

So, I will be keeping a close eye on things while digging to see if I can find any other options. I won't be transferring them to school where we work/live. Those schools have more issues than I have had to deal with the whole time the kids have been in their small-town school where we used to live. So, it's working through the kinks right now and going from there. It's just so frustrating to have two incidents like this so close together in time!!

[jules]

It's good that the younger staff members are receiving more training, but that makes me wonder how often ALL staff members are required to receive training. One of the reasons I've always had more confidence in centers was because I thought it was the norm for all staff to have a certain amount of early childhood education credits and to receive regular and ongoing training (not a ridiculous amount, but maybe 4-5 Saturdays out of the year), whether they'd been employed for 2 months or 20 years.

I'd still be curious how the director is going to handle staffing in the future. It's unacceptable for there to only be only one adult in the classroom at any time, but especially so if that adult is inexperienced.

[sheyd]

It IS reassuring that the director called Social Services themselves - and even more so that training will be held. I agree, though, the appropriate training should have been in place PRIOR to staff being in charge of children. There is a lot of fear that restraint will be looked upon harshly these days, but in the case of severe destruction to the point of danger, the staff should be aware of what type and severity of restraint is allowed and expected.

I think it might also be good if the director would include information to parents about the training they are given. Perhaps also information about emergency procedures that are set in place would be helpful.

[rocko]

www.fortnet.org/ECC/CCRR/ColoradoRegulationsForStaff.pdf

[hoodieprincess]

Thanks rocko. I looked for that information yesterday while I was at work but being as I was working, I didn't get very far. Yes, they are within guidelines for the state and followed most procedures. I still have some concerns over how it was handled but by working so much with the site director, it seems that some better procedures will be put into place.

Thanks again everyone for all the wonderful suggestions and information. I am sorting through the situation the best I can to come up with a positive outcome.

[c]

Crazy stuff. I know kids need interaction with their peers but I swear I'd rather keep them as latch key kids sometimes.

[shattered]

Nov 18, 2008 10:03:08 GMT -5 redskyatnight said:

The kid who acted out should be discharged immediately! That day care is dang lucky one of those shelves didn't fall on a child and seriously injure them. They would be looking at a lawsuit.

It really irks me when the one who acts up gets all the attention and the ones who do the right thing get s@rewed in the process.

Secondly, the teacher should have removed all the children from the building and gotten help. Maybe going to the bathroom was her only option. You should have been informed immediately of the "incident." Their behavior is totally unacceptable.

Is there an agency you can call, like the licensing agency, and inform them of what happened. Not so much to get them in trouble, but so someone will train the workers how to handle this, or any other situation.

Yes, yes, yes!!!!

So, how old was this kid that was freaking out??

[shattered]

Nov 18, 2008 10:38:50 GMT -5 hoodieprincess said:

Okay, so I got off work last night and called the site director immediately. She was more than happy to talk to me about any of my concerns which was reassuring.

The child attends daycare two days a week and they have him suspended from care for this week while an investigation is pending. He may or may not be allowed to return the following week. She has also contacted the county and spoke with a care technician who works with the state social services department and is having a trainer come out two evenings the week following Thanksgiving to work with and train the newer staff (the more tenured staff have been through the training). That will cover anger management for themselves, anger management in helping deal with the children, extra information to defuse a heated situation, safety procedures to ensure the safety of the other children, as well as legal information on what they are and are not allowed to do should a situation like that ever arise again. She stated they are also working on staff rotations to find different people to be at the school age building.

I felt much better after speaking with her and she apologized a million times. She stated she'd been out of town until Sunday and had been doing all she could during the day Monday to investigate. She is looking into why a report wasn't filed about T being hit in the head during the outburst. She is afraid that knowing T, he didn't actually speak up about that part but more concerned that he did and the younger teacher involved didn't acknowledge it because she felt she had a bigger situation to deal with. She also wanted to check on me not being informed as the teacher that was available when I had picked T up hadn't discussed the incident with me and yet she was supposed to be telling all parents and reported that she had. The director apologized that I may had slipped through the cracks. Also, they did spend about 45-60 minutes yesterday when the kids got out of school with the senior teacher for the school age building having a kind of open discussion. They all sat in a circle and talked very openly about the day before as well as thoughts, fears, concerns, etc. T wouldn't open up at first but the woman spent some 1-on-1 time with T after and he opened up a lot. He seemed to be dealing with it all much better by last night.

So, I will be keeping a close eye on things while digging to see if I can find any other options. I won't be transferring them to school where we work/live. Those schools have more issues than I have had to deal with the whole time the kids have been in their small-town school where we used to live. So, it's working through the kinks right now and going from there. It's just so frustrating to have two incidents like this so close together in time!!

I still can't even believe this entire situation.

I am glad that there have been at least some positive developments.

Hugs.