I don't know what it is about weddings that causes families to argue and complain. Frankly, I think it's so immature! I had a very VERY small second wedding (we were footing the bill ourselves) and so, did not invite uncles and aunts (that we never see anyhow).
Whoooeeeeee! Was that ever the wrong choice! We now have a bonified family rift going on on my mom's side of the family! I say good riddence.....but I feel bad for my mom.
A cousin of mine did a very small ceremony and did not invite us and we did not mind. Another cousin did a similar ceremony, but had a HUGE wedding shower and invited everyone to bring her gifts, but we were not invited to the ceremony. I thought that it was horribly tacky to invite us to give gifts and not be invited to the ceremony.
Invitations go out in a week. We haven't printed "no kids" as we've been told its rude (if I had my way it'd be in 6 inch letters on the front but hey...). Instead we've talked to people individually and let them know its an adult only event. No one has complained so far one couple has said they may not be able to make it because of finding childcare - that is a shame but we'll cope with missing their company.
Did you find a resolution?
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
my brother and i are EXTREMELY close... i cant imagine one of us doing something like getting married and not letting our kids come!!
except for the small fact that we were both married by the JP and i didnt go to his and he didnt come to mine ;D
seriously, if T were to get married tomorrow, and he said no kids absolutely NOT! i would tell him to kiss my ass, that my kids were coming whether he liked it or not dammit! and you know why? because my kids would be terribly HURT by the fact that uncle T was having such an important day in his life but they couldnt come.... my oldest is exactly like him, and very sensitive. so if he REALLY REALLY did not want kids there, i wouldnt go at all.
anyway, my brother and i push all over each others boundaries like that because we annoyingly know what is best for the other even though the other doesnt blah blah blah.
i have always thought it best during an argument to know exactly why the other person feels the way they do, so perhaps that may be similar to the REAL reason she wont budge. i mean there has to be a reason she hasnt told you, because everything else she brought to the table you had a superb answer for. good luck.
As anti-children-at-adult-events as I am, I have to admit that I see JC's point.
That doesn't mean that Mel or anyone else needs to change her position, just that maybe there is another way of looking at it when it comes to family members: Maybe Mel's sister isn't being stubborn for inconsiderate reasons, but for rather endearing reasons such as JC mentioned.
Last Edit: Feb 17, 2009 15:38:48 GMT -5 by shattered
Post by Mel (cherry) on Feb 18, 2009 7:29:15 GMT -5
That is the thing JC. Not a single one of them will talk to me. Other than the pronouncement they were coming.
Now my (middle) sister S is making a big production about leaving her two kids with her loser ex. Which has more complications than you could even fathom.
The thing is they will be here a week. I WANT them to bring the kids. But for the sake of EVERYONE'S sanity they cannot come to the ceremony itself.
That is the picture of the chapel. It is literally TINY!! Im not exaggerating a bit. They can see the place the kids will be watched from the big picture window to the right. 20 mins is NOT going to hurt anything. Not to mention the fact that in order to catch the light we are having an early morning wedding.
They can send someone running the instant the ceremony is over while we do pictures and ................then they can join Auntie's wedding party for the fun and food. That is the part they are most likely to remember anyways. Why bore them and make them cram into a tiny space for something that they are too young to care about or remember anyways? Remember that I have seen them a total of maybe 2 times each. It isn't like they see me every day.
I don't care what they do in the morning. My friends/family will be there to help me get ready. And afterwards if my aunt or grandmother want to miss the pictures to take care of kids.........I could care less. Why am I wrong?
Should I not consider the feelings of my fiancee? The other people in the wedding party? And yes even the feelings of my little neices and nephew? Boy what a bitch I am eh?
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this whole thing is driving me bonkers!! I think Ames may have been on to something when she eloped.
~'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.'~
"You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind. ..YOU....DOUCHE!! ~Stan~
seriously, this is your day, do it how you want to..... i was just trying to give you a little insight ya know? when it comes down to it, you gotta do what makes you happy, and hope that it is memorable for everyone else too...
but given the choice of:
A: making everyone else happy, and them having a great memory of your wedding day, while years from now everytime you think of it you get pissed off;
or B: getting your own way, and everyone else getting pissy, and not having great memories, but when you look back on the day years from now you couldnt be happier with it..