Post by ladyj on Mar 20, 2008 19:23:39 GMT -5
Since most threads I create are highjacked for whatever reasons and sometimes I can even I blame myself..............here I go.
I must say at first, I am surprised beyond any description and rather shocked and that my life would even be such a focus on some forum on the net ( there are at least three gazillioon more forums or more?)
This all came to my attention via one of my best friends. J girl and I have been very close friends for a very long time but it grew deeper in the last year or so. I could recognize her pain on Ojar and my heart truly went out to her. Her and I have a great deal of history that most of you have no business hearing about but I will tell you this. If you ever need a gal that is loyal to default, whose heart is vulnerable , whose integrity would set you on a spin, J girl is it.
Not because she was the ONLY one that defended me on this forum during the tar and feather and let's just suggest........... Let's hike Jac's sorry lying ass on the burning stake with Wiser's emblem attached to her mole chosen ass" Oh no..............J, has proven herself over and over again as a few others have to me , very few but they knew the same from me. Loyalty is the most important character I cherish in another and I had a rare opportunity to witness it as it's best and worst during my ordeal.
And with very little humility, I will share with you why I found myself at a very dark place in my life in January. I remember a member of Ojar making some snide comments towards me in a real life chat one evening. He was not too fond of me as I called his bluff one night when he told one of my friend's that I tried to cybersex him. Michael put an end to that bs quite quickly but i payed for it in a few ways later on. He told a few members while I was sitting there in live chat, as I am still reeling with the grief from the loss of my ex , that I was the most popular choice to kill themselves. Melbel was a sweetheart and came to my rescue as I sobbing as I was known to do in those days. I was not a strong woman at all. Quite vulnerable and just looking for a kind heart and hand. I also dished out some shit myself when pushed because I was angry at my ex and I feel so driven for true justice.
During my journey on Ojar and surviviing a great personal loss, I have spoken often about this in vague ways. I met a man that became my best friend. We have had a very complicated relationship due to distance, healing from past hurts and very strong personalities.
My love for him has never wavered, only grown but unfortunately due to the complications, my own feelings for him became an issue that caused me great personal strife. None of this is really any of your concerns but because a certain individual on here decided to make it his mission to defame me to the point of me seeking out legal advice, I feel compelled to share and I also want to clear J's name . She deserves NONE OF THE SHIT that was sent her way! And cudos to her for standing up.
The problems with my relationship and avoiding past issues from older relationships were the main factors that find me on my way to Whistler. I am not going to go into great details of my relationship with "him" but it was the main factor that had me packing my bags, loading my van with liquids that I know full and well are lethal to me physically and emotionally.
Yes, I fucked up.
Want to shoot me?
Go for it!!!!!!!!
My cousin died because of a drunk driver. Do you think I support such behavior? Fuck No!
But I did it, and I was not planning to drink until I reached my destination. But plans fail cause humans fail, and im weak and I am not perfect and I figured I was close to my destination and i figured I would be fine. But you know what? I cannot handle alcohol at all. I have been told that countless times. I do not digest it like others do, I do not handle it in the same mindset. I CANNOT drink with responsibility.
I fucked up and I have to live with it the rest of my life. I did not kill anyone else but I almost killed myself and hurt many others that care about me.
I will contine this later when I am in the mood...
I must say at first, I am surprised beyond any description and rather shocked and that my life would even be such a focus on some forum on the net ( there are at least three gazillioon more forums or more?)
This all came to my attention via one of my best friends. J girl and I have been very close friends for a very long time but it grew deeper in the last year or so. I could recognize her pain on Ojar and my heart truly went out to her. Her and I have a great deal of history that most of you have no business hearing about but I will tell you this. If you ever need a gal that is loyal to default, whose heart is vulnerable , whose integrity would set you on a spin, J girl is it.
Not because she was the ONLY one that defended me on this forum during the tar and feather and let's just suggest........... Let's hike Jac's sorry lying ass on the burning stake with Wiser's emblem attached to her mole chosen ass" Oh no..............J, has proven herself over and over again as a few others have to me , very few but they knew the same from me. Loyalty is the most important character I cherish in another and I had a rare opportunity to witness it as it's best and worst during my ordeal.
And with very little humility, I will share with you why I found myself at a very dark place in my life in January. I remember a member of Ojar making some snide comments towards me in a real life chat one evening. He was not too fond of me as I called his bluff one night when he told one of my friend's that I tried to cybersex him. Michael put an end to that bs quite quickly but i payed for it in a few ways later on. He told a few members while I was sitting there in live chat, as I am still reeling with the grief from the loss of my ex , that I was the most popular choice to kill themselves. Melbel was a sweetheart and came to my rescue as I sobbing as I was known to do in those days. I was not a strong woman at all. Quite vulnerable and just looking for a kind heart and hand. I also dished out some shit myself when pushed because I was angry at my ex and I feel so driven for true justice.
During my journey on Ojar and surviviing a great personal loss, I have spoken often about this in vague ways. I met a man that became my best friend. We have had a very complicated relationship due to distance, healing from past hurts and very strong personalities.
My love for him has never wavered, only grown but unfortunately due to the complications, my own feelings for him became an issue that caused me great personal strife. None of this is really any of your concerns but because a certain individual on here decided to make it his mission to defame me to the point of me seeking out legal advice, I feel compelled to share and I also want to clear J's name . She deserves NONE OF THE SHIT that was sent her way! And cudos to her for standing up.
The problems with my relationship and avoiding past issues from older relationships were the main factors that find me on my way to Whistler. I am not going to go into great details of my relationship with "him" but it was the main factor that had me packing my bags, loading my van with liquids that I know full and well are lethal to me physically and emotionally.
Yes, I fucked up.
Want to shoot me?
Go for it!!!!!!!!
My cousin died because of a drunk driver. Do you think I support such behavior? Fuck No!
But I did it, and I was not planning to drink until I reached my destination. But plans fail cause humans fail, and im weak and I am not perfect and I figured I was close to my destination and i figured I would be fine. But you know what? I cannot handle alcohol at all. I have been told that countless times. I do not digest it like others do, I do not handle it in the same mindset. I CANNOT drink with responsibility.
I fucked up and I have to live with it the rest of my life. I did not kill anyone else but I almost killed myself and hurt many others that care about me.
I will contine this later when I am in the mood...