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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 17, 2008 15:13:24 GMT -5
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Post by sheyd on Apr 18, 2008 8:44:37 GMT -5
These stories end up just pissing me off. For every abuse of the system like this woman experiences (and others, like finding, experience) there are 20 cases where kids ARE being abused, and protected, by child protective services. For every case of wrongful termination (and I DO know of a lot of those too) there is a case of a child who gets killed by abusive adults.
The REAL trouble with the system is that it is run by humans. Humans with biases, faults, bad days, who make mistakes, who are constricted by laws. The protective services laws swing back and forth - they try for more reunification, and more kids get killed. They try for more help for the families and the kids end up in the system for years and years with no stability. They try for strict deadlines followed by parental terminations and adoptions, and you get cases like this woman's. There are NO GOOD answers. Case workers are hated by families, overworked and underpaid, and they make mistakes. They see kids with bashed in skulls, with hand and belt marks bruised into the skin, kids who are afraid to trust anyone because of how many times they were told they are worthless, or who belt their pants so tight they have indents because it might slow a hand from going down there. A good parent gets accused wrongfully and they get angry and belligerant and hate the socialworker, they end up looking just like the abusive parents they see every day. Mistakes are made. They are made worse by the pervasive culture of hating child protective services. They are always accused of either doing too much, or not doing enough.
I have seen this stuff from SO MANY angles. Everything from being wrongfully accused and being questioned in a Kmart by two cops with guns, to having my legal aid lawyer friend just about crying when his client lost his kids after trying so hard to keep them, to seeing the pictures of abused kids, seeing videos of interviews of sexually abused children, to listening to a kid screaming and not knowing how to help, to having my friends be so happy when they are taken into foster care because they weren't hurting any more, to having a friend abused in a foster home, to having a friend adopt two children whose mother's rights were terminated because she couldn't keep her drug addiction under control. There are NO easy answers. Instead of generalizing each bad case to meaning the whole system and every caseworker SUCKS - why don't we work on making sure there are checks and balances (which costs money), enough workers so there is less burn-out and more attention given to each case (which again costs money) and more education for both parents and judges/caseworkers?
I am studying to be a social worker. NO WAY IN HELL would I be a child protection worker. They make 0 money, in a high stress job where everyone hates them and their lives are often threatened. Those that DO do it are there because they care about children and want to protect them. God bless them, but I don't have the guts.
Shey
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 18, 2008 9:08:36 GMT -5
So that makes it right? Seems to me this day and age we make more effort in excusing and explaining behaviors than we do righting the wrongs...............
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Post by sheyd on Apr 18, 2008 9:30:30 GMT -5
And how exactly is this righting the wrongs? What are YOU doing to right the wrongs - anyone reading this, watching that? How many are volunteering with kids, helping parents, acting as foster parents, working with lawmakers? It is NOT helpful to just say - oh that is so wrong - it must all suck! That makes parents more mistrustful, and more likely to make their situation worse in a wrongful charge. It also makes people reluctant to make charges, which leaves kids unprotected.
No system is perfect - but that isn't an excuse - it is a truth. Yes, please DO fight the system when an injustice is being done - but don't make that overwhelming generalization. In the meantime, that system that is being slammed is the only thing between abuse and our children. So support that system, and work to get rid of each individual injustice - or work to better that system - or work to put something better in place. Have any ideas how it could be done better? My classes would be HAPPY to hear them - and happy to work to put it into place if you can find it. The truth is - those people are the ones actually TRYING to right the injustices, out there working with abused kids and families - and getting BOTH help, when possible.
The injustices affect us all - but not having the system in place would be worse.
Shey
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Post by freckles on Apr 18, 2008 9:55:24 GMT -5
I emailed that Lady and told her what to do
File a 100 Million Dollar Lawsuit & to get her kid back
with a Lawyer with Rabies
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 18, 2008 9:57:52 GMT -5
Hey you're the one getting worked up here.........not me *shrug*
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Post by JimB on Apr 18, 2008 10:03:53 GMT -5
Hey you're the one getting worked up here.........not me *shrug* Sure...post, then run away.
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Post by freckles on Apr 18, 2008 10:08:28 GMT -5
Dont worry I sent Emails to my Friends at Fox news Bill O'relly and Gretta etc
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Post by freckles on Apr 18, 2008 10:12:31 GMT -5
I sent a Email to Dr Laura Slessenger She will Help too
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Post by sheyd on Apr 18, 2008 10:14:13 GMT -5
Yeah - exactly. It is easy to NOT get worked up - just to say how terrible things are, and the people trying to make things better are. I AM worked up - about the injustices, about making it better, about working to fix those problems.
Which is why I get so upset about things like this - which make the problems worse as people blame the workers, the system, and make it out to be all bad and intentionally bad - without really trying to make it better. So... if you AREN'T worked up, aren't willing to work on it - don't propogate the hate, you know?
Shey
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Post by freckles on Apr 18, 2008 10:20:42 GMT -5
They are Evil for doing that
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Post by freckles on Apr 18, 2008 10:21:46 GMT -5
I may write a Letter to the Editor to every Newspaper in the USA
It would take me a Week of Emails
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Post by sheyd on Apr 18, 2008 10:23:00 GMT -5
Remember, Frecks - you don't know the whole story. But I applaud your efforts to get her the attention she deserves! Good for you!
Shey
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 18, 2008 11:48:50 GMT -5
Who the hell is propogating hate?
The way I see it..........those that push this overly feel-good-pc-don't-hurt-anyone's-feelings crap are the ones.
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Post by sheyd on Apr 18, 2008 11:55:37 GMT -5
Do you really want me to spend the time and pull quotes from the video and the responses? I will, tonight, if I need to - but this video is NOT an unbiased reporting of where the system failed. It is an impassioned plea to believe the whole system sucks and is out to steal your children. Which simply isn't true.
Shey
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