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Post by sheyd on Apr 20, 2008 10:24:23 GMT -5
Had this video been about her story only - or had she been simply attempting to change a law that can have outcomes that were unforeseen - I wouldn't have had my pissed off rant. What that video was about was NOT a sympathy plea for her story, but inciting people to believe that it is all intentionally set out to get her - and they will get you too. Look at the responses to her video (besides the ones calling her hot ) and you will see why I consider that the wrong way to go about it. Her story is sad, but it sure isn't the saddest one I have ever heard, or even the worst injustice. It isn't about "giving social workers a bad name" - it is about inciting hate and fear and perpetuating an unjust and untrue stereotype. That doesn't mean some social workers don't "fit the stereotype" or that everything done by CPS is fair and just, or that there can't be improvements made to the system - but hate/fear mongering isn't the way to do it. This video is clearly aimed at creating fear/anger. So "GOOD" that it gives social workers a bad name? Why, so that the next time someone HAS to deal with them they can be convinced from the get-go that they are trying to steal their children so why work with them, why try? Or maybe - why not kill/hurt/intimidate the social worker. You think that doesn't happen because of just such fears? You would be wrong. If you want to fight for justice for one person - great - Freckles has the right idea - talk ABOUT THAT CASE where it can do some good. If you think a law needs changing - work to change that law - but NOT by inciting fear and hate. Shey
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Post by freckles on Apr 20, 2008 13:15:39 GMT -5
When it is a Divorce and the ExSpouse is the one calling CPS
They should know from the get-go that is diffrent
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 20, 2008 16:17:49 GMT -5
Yeah cuz that was the exact point of my posting this
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Post by sheyd on Apr 21, 2008 8:04:17 GMT -5
In fact, I stated I didn't believe you had any point in posting this beyond the fact that it was sad (and it is.) My pissed off rant was not at you - but at this kind of story - more specifically - story delivery. You didn't create the video, you didn't state (at least in your initial posting) that you thought child protective services is horrible. You saw a sad story, posted it. I doubt you were thinking at all how this story was portrayed would be instigating fear and forwarding a stereotype. It is just something I am more aware of, because of my associations with positive child protective workers and my knowledge of why those adoption laws were put into place.
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Post by freckles on Apr 21, 2008 8:16:35 GMT -5
They do Bad one time
That is one time way, way to many
They should fix it
And stop trying to hide the evil that was done
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Post by rocko on Apr 21, 2008 8:21:18 GMT -5
I know in my area they keep children with the parents and give them more chances than what is deserved. They don't care how nasty the house is as long as there isnt' dog shit on the kitchen table. You can have the children eating between pieces of a car motor, dog shit all thru the house, leave the 8 year old home alone for 4 hours a day, and beat the shit out of them with a belt and leave nasty bruises, PLUS have at least four people reporting it and they don't do anything. I KNOW my sister still has her kids.
Another man locally was beating a two year old until his entire upper leg, butt, and back were solid bruises. The mother (his ex)reported it. They didn't do anything. The two yera old then had a broken leg. Then they did something. That is a little late. I can't think of anything a two year old can do that deserves BEATING.
The system here is spread to thin. They make it too hard to become a foster parent. I know several couples that would like to be foster parents (myself included after I get thru school), but I wouldn't pass the tests they give and I am a super parent.
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Post by sheyd on Apr 21, 2008 8:34:09 GMT -5
I totally agree, Freckles, nor do I think it is ever hidden. The trouble is, they are human. Docs do bad in surgeries, sometimes too. They make mistakes, kill or hurt people. Does that mean we should say docs are just out to get people and kill them? That docs don't care, they just want the money for surgery? I'm sure that is true of some docs, true of some social workers, too. That isn't the majority, though, by a long shot. And that sure won't make you feel better next time you need surgery if that is your impression of doctors. The same is true of social workers. If you are cooperative, get to know them more, work WITH them your outcome is going to be better.
Where there is a problem with the system - that too should be fixed. If procedures are causing the problem, they should be changed. Of course - in this case - they WERE changed, to encourage adoption because kids were getting shuffled from foster home to foster home for sometimes as long as 18 years. Kids were developing attachment disorders, parents were getting kids back only to lose them again for more abuse, kids were getting killed when they were returned to parents. Perhaps they went too far, though, legislatively, by adding monetary incentives to adoption. I doubt that was a huge motivating factor for anybody, but it is hard to tell from this. In social work, the pendulum swings back and forth - if reunification is the goal, kids are in limbo too long, and too many are killed or seriously injured being returned to parents who aren't capable of taking care of them. If strict time limits are the goal, with parental rights terminated at the end, parents who ARE deserving of getting their kids back but just need a bit more time to get clean or to prove themselves end up losing them. One mistake, either way, IS too much - but mistakes WILL be made when humans are involved.
Shey
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Post by sheyd on Apr 21, 2008 8:39:55 GMT -5
And Rocko- THOSE are sadder stories, I think. As a mom, my heart is ripped out imagining losing one of my children, but at least her daughter is safe. Those kids growing up like that... wow. Imagine thinking that is how life is - that that is NORMAL? CPS isn't perfect, but at least they can save kids from that. Are you sure you wouldn't pass as a foster parent?
I have wanted to foster, too, but my ex couldn't handle taking in kids he would then have to give up, and Harry just doesn't want to. Sigh.
Shey
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Post by rocko on Apr 21, 2008 8:52:50 GMT -5
Here you aren't allowedto discipline your own kids hardly if you foster and I can't have my kids acting like total shits because I foster. Plus we have Uncle Scotty living with us.
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Post by freckles on Apr 21, 2008 9:21:55 GMT -5
My main thing is * If CPS makes a Mistake, then they start saying * We destroyed the records.
And the ExSpouse calls in Lies
They Adapt the Kid out and destroyed the family
And REFUSE to fix it
People say they are Good all day long
being a good person means if you make a mistake, you fix it.
If you make a mistake and refuse to fix it
That is NOT a good person
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Apr 21, 2008 16:53:13 GMT -5
Nope and I would probably feel a lot like she does actually. Im pretty fiercely protective when it comes to my kids.
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Post by sheyd on Apr 22, 2008 8:45:38 GMT -5
I am too - I would be fighting at every level possible - although I would be fighting directly about my case... Lets hope it just was a big mistake, and an investigation is made. Of course the little girl is probably 17 by now, and it will be a moot point for that family, unfortunately.
Shey
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Post by freckles on Apr 22, 2008 12:53:33 GMT -5
I have sent Her some Information
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