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Post by goods on Jan 18, 2008 18:01:59 GMT -5
Treat the cause not the symptom. What kind of treatment? I guess that depends on the cause.... but I think some major communication is in order. Hopefully he will be receptive. Perhaps couples counseling. It is really tough for any of us to say what will be the fix. I can say I really doubt trying to catch him lying will do anything but bring an end to the relationship.
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Post by Saucy on Jan 18, 2008 18:34:38 GMT -5
ugh! i hate liars. what is sooooo hard about being brutally truthful.
pretty much, if they don't get that its the lies and the deceit that hurt the most than being brutally honest, than thats no man for ya.
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Post by goods on Jan 18, 2008 18:36:52 GMT -5
ugh! i hate liars. what is sooooo hard about being brutally truthful. pretty much, if they don't get that its the lies and the deceit that hurt the most than being brutally honest, than thats no man for ya. agreed.
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 18, 2008 18:58:48 GMT -5
I thank you all for your responses. We'll see how it goes this weekend. I will be back in town on Tuesday, and will keep you all posted. I'm going to try to talk to him this weekend. If this is going to be resolved, a band-aid can't just be applied, we have to get to the root of what's going on, and what's going to happen. One way or the other.
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Post by Kim Possible on Jan 20, 2008 9:29:12 GMT -5
ugh! i hate liars. what is sooooo hard about being brutally truthful. pretty much, if they don't get that its the lies and the deceit that hurt the most than being brutally honest, than thats no man for ya. So true. I think we have all realized that most relationships are not forever, and sooner or later they come to an end. What is so wrong with just saying "listen, I think we're drifting apart". I know, easier said than done, and for the cheater, cheating is easier. And for Brain, I wonder, did he have any feelings of regret (or feelings of guilt) after he did the same thing with his ex (the one he left you for?). In the long run, it is easier to say "this isn't working". That way, the one who is left isn't scarred for life, carrying major trust issues into every subsequent relationship
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Post by freckles on Jan 20, 2008 10:31:58 GMT -5
Cheaters will Cheat on the Person they cheated with when they cheated on someone I made a Poem
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Post by lumpy on Jan 20, 2008 14:37:47 GMT -5
He says I'm snooping, and he doesn't want to be asked who he's talknig to, and he tells me I'm acting like Amanda (his ex). Fuck you! Didn't his ex have a pretty good reason for snooping on him? I'm not trying to be a dick but you have to be able to see that for what it was. I'd have to imagine that he was lying to his ex about you for a time.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 20, 2008 14:41:00 GMT -5
wait a sec... i dont know your whole story... this guy cheated on you and with you? He was going through a seperation when we met, he was not honest with his ex about me for fear she would take off with his daughter, which is exactly what she did when he left her. He hasn't seen his daughter in 8 months. That's how he framed it for you. I doubt it was that simple or altruistic.
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enigma
New Member
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills
Posts: 16
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Post by enigma on Jan 20, 2008 21:36:18 GMT -5
I have to agree with Lumpy about the past stuff. There was a lot going on then that your love for him convinced you to skip over and forget about. He was not a nice person and he treated you poorly.
Now he's moved in with you, but you're financially taking care of him (from what I understand in your posts on Ojar). He's sneaking around (may be innocent) and taking you for granted.
Here's the sticky part though: He will use your mistrust, however valid, against you if he's really up to something. If I'm reading his type right, he's waiting for you to lose it over this girl so his flake out will be your fault (in his mind). I really hope I'm wrong, for your sake. His track record sucks rocks, though. You have to take into account past behavior.
I would keep my eyes open and my jealousy in check, for the time being. Let him know that you want to work on your relationship, but don't center anything around the other girl at this point. If he's doing wrong, it will come out anyway.
Again, I really hope that's not the case.
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Post by Dave on Feb 19, 2008 21:02:59 GMT -5
She never returned? Maybe he killed her. They do that. Murderers are usually liars.
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