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Post by lqdKaos on Jan 7, 2008 16:46:04 GMT -5
Crystal, Its tough. I think we have all read SO freakin many people getting put second to a video game / online tool (myspace).
You need to figure out a way to talk to him about it without coming across as nagging. Here's a few tips.
1. Dont bring it up while he is playing. This may come across negatively because you would be "interrupting" him 2. Dont bring it up around his friends 3. Dont whine about it when you do talk about it. 4. Make it about spending time together, not that you feel left out. 5. Try to have some other activities to suggest. Things both of you enjoy.
If you dont have other suggestions, then he may perceive it as you just whining. I know that when my SO bugs me to spend more time with her instead of my chosen activity, it irritates the hell out of me if she does not have another idea. It just comes across as clingy. If she asks if I would do xyz with her instead of climbing, it is much more appealing.
Picture this scenario: you: Honey, can you stop playing for a little bit so we can spend some time together him: Sure, what would you like to do? you: Oh, I dont know, what do you think would be fun? him: Halo
Instead, go with this you: Honey, can you stop playing for a bit so we can spend some time together? him: sure, what do you have in mind? you: Lets go hiking/climbing/XYZ
I am not saying that all guys will respond to this, just that it may make it easier for you to convince him
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ladyj
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by ladyj on Jan 7, 2008 16:49:10 GMT -5
I cannot count how many times I tried that tactic. Never worked. There was even a point where I would stand in front of him in the most sexiest lingerie or naked lol, and nothing would phase him when he was in the depths of his addiction. Crystal , get this figured out now before Brian is lost forever in the depths of gaming hell! Crystal, Its tough. I think we have all read SO freakin many people getting put second to a video game / online tool (myspace). You need to figure out a way to talk to him about it without coming across as nagging. Here's a few tips. 1. Dont bring it up while he is playing. This may come across negatively because you would be "interrupting" him 2. Dont bring it up around his friends 3. Dont whine about it when you do talk about it. 4. Make it about spending time together, not that you feel left out. 5. Try to have some other activities to suggest. Things both of you enjoy. If you dont have other suggestions, then he may perceive it as you just whining. I know that when my SO bugs me to spend more time with her instead of my chosen activity, it irritates the hell out of me if she does not have another idea. It just comes across as clingy. If she asks if I would do xyz with her instead of climbing, it is much more appealing. Picture this scenario: you: Honey, can you stop playing for a little bit so we can spend some time together him: Sure, what would you like to do? you: Oh, I dont know, what do you think would be fun? him: Halo Instead, go with this you: Honey, can you stop playing for a bit so we can spend some time together? him: sure, what do you have in mind? you: Lets go hiking/climbing/XYZ
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Post by lqdKaos on Jan 7, 2008 16:52:41 GMT -5
I cannot count how many times I tried that tactic. Never worked. There was even a point where I would stand in front of him in the most sexiest lingerie or naked lol, and nothing would phase him when he was in the depths of his addiction. Crystal , get this figured out now before Brian is lost forever in the depths of gaming hell! Crystal, Its tough. I think we have all read SO freakin many people getting put second to a video game / online tool (myspace). You need to figure out a way to talk to him about it without coming across as nagging. Here's a few tips. 1. Dont bring it up while he is playing. This may come across negatively because you would be "interrupting" him 2. Dont bring it up around his friends 3. Dont whine about it when you do talk about it. 4. Make it about spending time together, not that you feel left out. 5. Try to have some other activities to suggest. Things both of you enjoy. If you dont have other suggestions, then he may perceive it as you just whining. I know that when my SO bugs me to spend more time with her instead of my chosen activity, it irritates the hell out of me if she does not have another idea. It just comes across as clingy. If she asks if I would do xyz with her instead of climbing, it is much more appealing. Picture this scenario: you: Honey, can you stop playing for a little bit so we can spend some time together him: Sure, what would you like to do? you: Oh, I dont know, what do you think would be fun? him: Halo Instead, go with this you: Honey, can you stop playing for a bit so we can spend some time together? him: sure, what do you have in mind? you: Lets go hiking/climbing/XYZJ, Unfortunately, you are correct. This will not work for all guys. But hopefully it will. Else Crystal will have to resort to tackling it directly, sit him down and talk to him about your feelings. Or watch the movie MallRats for a little guidance from Shannen Dougherty.
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Post by Phyxius on Jan 7, 2008 17:08:13 GMT -5
Or just stand between him and the tv wearing nothing but a smile. If d2b had tried this when we were married, she might've been AMAZED at the results...
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Post by Chaos40 on Jan 7, 2008 18:19:21 GMT -5
there's nothing wrong with playing Halo 3
it rocks
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Post by wizer on Jan 7, 2008 18:20:22 GMT -5
I still like the old games.
Space Invaders, Asteroids, Galaga, heck even Pong can keep me going for hours.
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Post by Saucy on Jan 7, 2008 18:40:32 GMT -5
I like Parappa the Rappa.
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Post by lumpy on Jan 7, 2008 19:40:35 GMT -5
I like Parappa the Rappa. I heard he went gangsta...
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Post by Saucy on Jan 7, 2008 19:47:11 GMT -5
WORD!! hahahaha
"Id neva have no muthafuggen INDO ta smoke" hahahahaa
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Post by freckles on Jan 7, 2008 23:57:02 GMT -5
I will Trade Him a New XBox game for You
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 10:48:49 GMT -5
Thanks for all your replies...
I actually tried your suggestion last night, LqdKaos. I added Brian to my gym membership after the New Years (he asked me to) so we could work out together and get back in shape... I got home last night, and of course he was playing Halo, so I said, "Hey hun, do you wanna go to the gym for a little while, and then sit in the jacuzzi for awhile?" He groaned and said, "Fine. How long do we have to go for?" Not quite the response I was looking for. He complained the whole time we were there, and said I'm not as fun to go to the gym with as his "boys" are. Geez, sorry I thought it would be a neat way to spend some time together. I should have just gone on my own. We barely said 15 words to each other for the rest of the night. We got home, I went to bed, and he went back to playing Halo.
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JC
Full Member
Posts: 205
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Post by JC on Jan 8, 2008 10:58:54 GMT -5
how long have you guys been together? and are you living together?
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crystal025
Full Member
"What's meant to be will ALWAYS find a way!"
Posts: 102
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Post by crystal025 on Jan 8, 2008 11:12:17 GMT -5
how long have you guys been together? and are you living together? We've been together "unofficially" for a year and a half. But we've been together "officially" and living together for 7 months.
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JC
Full Member
Posts: 205
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Post by JC on Jan 8, 2008 11:18:15 GMT -5
the best advice i could give you is to just be honest with him.. men are not mind readers, and you may think that constantly joking around about it or suggesting you guys do something else means he understands where you are coming from, but it doesnt. you should just sit down with him and tell him, you are starting to feel a bit neglected, that you dont want to nag about it, but you dont want this to become a serious issue either.
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Post by goods on Jan 8, 2008 11:23:18 GMT -5
I completely agree with jc. Sit him down with ZERO distractions and let him know how important this is.
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