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Post by rocko on Mar 28, 2008 12:49:36 GMT -5
I had VERY few with him in this town. My parents house has a few ghosts, but they are so faded with time.
It hurts me to feel you hurting.
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Post by jules on Mar 28, 2008 13:11:56 GMT -5
goods, do whatever you need to do to get rid of the ghosts and reclaim your home as your own. it can be done. you have to want it though. i highly recommend it for psychological purposes, as well as practical.
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Post by goods on Mar 28, 2008 13:12:49 GMT -5
Aww Shanna, don't hurt for me.... I need to learn my lesson from this, let it all go, make some new memories.
I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost would be more than I could bear.
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Post by redskyatnight on Mar 28, 2008 17:44:02 GMT -5
Make new memories in the house and let time take care of the rest. It will get better.
With regard to telling, I let the cat out of the bag to the husband of the OW. We were all friends. It was an accident, I called to talk to her, he answered and knew something was up. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it. I hated that she got off scott-free while my life was in such ruin. Now she has to deal with the fallout of her actions too.
Your situation is different. Will you be able to live with the decision 5 years from now?
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Post by ionysis on Mar 30, 2008 2:50:17 GMT -5
I think you should tell. Let them reap what they have sown. I'm in that kind of mood. Justice should be served.
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Post by goods on Mar 30, 2008 7:52:08 GMT -5
I think you should tell. Let them reap what they have sown. I'm in that kind of mood. Justice should be served. Yes... the truth will come out, it always does.
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Post by goods on Mar 30, 2008 8:38:22 GMT -5
How is your mood now Ion....?
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Post by ionysis on Mar 30, 2008 15:34:28 GMT -5
Still grumpy! I'm like a small child - I get grizzly when I don't get enough sleep, and my boss gets back from his vacation tomorrow sadly and will be demanding progress updates... Ugh. I want to lie on a sofa and have someone give me a foot rub and the week off! How about you? Are you feeling strong?
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Post by goods on Mar 30, 2008 15:49:52 GMT -5
Still grumpy! I'm like a small child - I get grizzly when I don't get enough sleep, and my boss gets back from his vacation tomorrow sadly and will be demanding progress updates... Ugh. I want to lie on a sofa and have someone give me a foot rub and the week off! How about you? Are you feeling strong? Not really strong.... but not weak. So things must be looking up.
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blu
Full Member
Posts: 145
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Post by blu on Mar 30, 2008 20:35:57 GMT -5
Goods, I am sorry too that you have been going through such a hard time. I know revenge is tempting and I often wonder how it would feel if they all knew just how bad he got before we split ... but I also beleive what they say about living well being the best revenge.
I think this whole bit has just thrown you for a moment, but like your son said better off without her and moving on!!
Its been almost 2 years for me and I still have days here and there that are difficult, but I am trying to "live well"!
Hang in there. You are an amazingly smart, kind and strong man..this is just a bump!
Blu
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Post by goods on Mar 30, 2008 22:05:27 GMT -5
Thanks Blu.... the right/best thing is not always the easiest.
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Post by ionysis on Mar 30, 2008 23:04:59 GMT -5
Meh! You're all too damned dignified for me - I say publish a story in the local newspaper - with photos if you have them! Sigh. I guess not. I could have had my ex thrown out of his apartment for "fraternising" with ladies of the night but I resisted the malicious approach (with difficulty at times!). I'm afriad I DID however tell everyone I ever met or that we knew the exact details of the break up and his subsequent behaviour. I WANTED him to be shamed, partly because I hatred him for how he'd acted and also because I felt that he deserved to feel ashamed of his behavior. Kind of coming back to bite me in the ass now that we are trying to reconcile tho! Stick with walking the dogs and working out. Both very sexy activities for a single guy by the way
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Post by goods on Mar 31, 2008 18:50:09 GMT -5
If my heart wasn't already trampled, that would finish me. I thank God, that I have never seen any pictures, that I never caught her with anyone.
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Post by gdgross on Apr 1, 2008 16:45:54 GMT -5
Reclaim your house goods! I tend to be less emotional than most people. It wasn't that hard for me. There were ghosts of her in my house for a while, but I managed to live with them or ignore them, and now they are mostly gone. I don't know if I will ever forget them, but I can function pretty well. I didn't even get rid of the most potent reminder, the bed. (and she's not the last one who has spent the night, either. ) Even that has not really been weird for me. It's just furniture. The bed frame was even a gift from her parents, which one would think makes things all the weirder, but it honestly hasn't bothered me. Having two roommates has helped. My house is a completely different place than it was three years ago. I also threw out all of her stuff, including pictures, memorabilia, anything that reminded me of her, except for the stuff that was valuable or useful, like the aforementioned bed & frame. I don't even think of her in the house anymore unless it's intentional. It's just a totally different place now. I don't know how hard it will be for you. I pray that you will be able to own your house again. It's a good feeling.
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Post by goods on Apr 2, 2008 11:32:26 GMT -5
I am working on that GD.... currently I am remodeling the uptairs bathroom... all house projects were put on hold during my seperation, time to make my house what I want it to be.
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