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Post by shattered on Oct 30, 2008 10:59:42 GMT -5
Thank you, Freckles, I do understand that -- but only to a degree.
I don't think avoidance solves anything. Too many men seem to think avoiding the problem will make it go away. It doesn't.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Oct 30, 2008 11:17:23 GMT -5
Oh lordy Freckles, I know you mean well but come on...............  |
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Post by shattered on Oct 30, 2008 11:35:21 GMT -5
Because: This (just one of many examples of what happened last night) shows me that my mother was right: There is something wrong with his mental faculties. He doesn't *intend* to be an asshole. He doesn't *think* he is acting crazy -- but that doesn't make his actions any less crazy!! He is like a little child. [...] So, he is either acting in bad faith, or an imbicile. I think it's the latter. I know now this can never work and I am heartbroken and dismayed beyond words. Remember, this is a decision you came to before he left. He likely ran away because he sensed that you knew the jig was up. You were also the one who initiated a meeting for closure purposes, rather than just letting emotions hang in the air, unresolved. You are more in control than I think you even realize. And for that, I am proud of you and inspired by you. Thank you so much for your faith in me. But I have to confess that I wanted the meeting out of deseperation -- I was desperately clinging to the hope of reconcilation. What I do feel proud of, is that I decided the circumstances of his leaving and of this talk are not acceptable to me, and that I have decided not to go. |
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 30, 2008 11:37:57 GMT -5
Remember, this is a decision you came to before he left. He likely ran away because he sensed that you knew the jig was up. You were also the one who initiated a meeting for closure purposes, rather than just letting emotions hang in the air, unresolved. You are more in control than I think you even realize. And for that, I am proud of you and inspired by you. Thank you so much for your faith in me. But I have to confess that I wanted the meeting out of deseperation -- I was desperately clinging to the hope of reconcilation. What I do feel proud of, is that I decided the circumstances of his leaving and of this talk are not acceptable to me, and that I have decided not to go. That is worth being proud of. You got up from wanting to beg and you're standing on your own two feet. See? You're stregnth is shining through! |
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Post by JimB on Oct 30, 2008 11:50:50 GMT -5
Can you be more specific about what you suspect is going on with him that is more than meets the eye? Nope.  Seriously, I'm not directly involved, so I couldn't say. But I can tell you that it's clear from what you've described that he has his own fair share of issues. He's not the Monsieur le Rrrawr that you had him built up to be. Such is the problem with infatuation - we gloss over the other person's negatives. And long-distance scenarios make it that much easier, because anyone can put their best foot forward for a couple of days. I think we had established before that this visit would be an enlightening one for you one way or another, and it certainly has been. Sorry the outcome isn't what you thought you wanted, but this is the best way to find that out. |
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Post by shattered on Oct 30, 2008 12:02:35 GMT -5
Yes, he most certainly has his own fair share of issues. I think that has become clear.
Everyone has issues, so that wouldn't have to be a problem. The problem is that he acts like he has no issues, and it's all me being crazy, controlling, mean, etc.
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Post by Mel (cherry) on Oct 30, 2008 12:09:17 GMT -5
Yes, he most certainly has his own fair share of issues. I think that has become clear. Everyone has issues, so that wouldn't have to be a problem. The problem is that he acts like he has no issues, and it's all me being crazy, controlling, mean, etc. Don't pick up his baggage hun. We all have it true, but I know mine are enough to handle without packing someone else's crap.  No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt~ You cannot control his actions only how you let them affect you. Stand your ground and we promise we will stand with you!! |
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Post by shattered on Oct 30, 2008 12:17:52 GMT -5
Yes, he most certainly has his own fair share of issues. I think that has become clear. Everyone has issues, so that wouldn't have to be a problem. The problem is that he acts like he has no issues, and it's all me being crazy, controlling, mean, etc. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt~ You cannot control his actions only how you let them affect you. Stand your ground and we promise we will stand with you!! I love this. Yes. Exactly. And I'm so touched and happy to have all of you with me. |
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Post by hoodieprincess on Oct 30, 2008 13:33:17 GMT -5
~Small children give you headache; big children heartache~ Old Russian Proverb
Okay, I found a tad bit of amusement in this one as we've talked about him seeming rather childish in his methods...
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