Post by wizer on Jan 4, 2008 12:40:27 GMT -5
Some of you know my story.
Messy divorce, I havent seen or spoken with my 15 year old since February, my 11 year old since June.
They have refused contact, they are blaming me for the divorce and a whole bunch of other things.
I am not blameless, I have done my share of yelling and screaming, but I have never been physically/sexually abusive and being cut out of their lives is in no way justified by anything I did when I was living home.
That much said, I met with my stbxw in therapy yesterday.
She acknowledges that this whole thing has gotten completely out of hand, that the children see me as some sort of "huge monster" and she is willing to do whatever it takes to reconnect them with me.
At one point during the session the therapist asked me to call the house and leave a message (the kids were home but they were not going to pick up). He wanted to see how I spoke to them during my calls to the house, which I have been doing 2-3x per week for almost a year.
During the call I broke down crying...I completed the call, and my stbxw was crying as well, and the therapist stated how its obvious how much I missed my children.
We have a meeting next week at a diner...it sounds weird I know...the therapist, myself, my stbxw, and my children.
The stbxw called me last night after the session. She said that when she saw me crying she realized how much I do love them and we should try to work together to get through this divorce as amicably as possible...for the sake of everyone but especially the kids.
So...we turned a page. Several more chapters to be written, but its moving in the right direction.
P.S. She said that she is having a very tough time with the kids. They dont listen to her, they argue with her about everything from going to bed at night, getting up for school in the morning, and about them chatting with strangers on the internet.
She acknowledges that while I was overbearing, at least I kept them in line, and now its like anarchy (thats my word, not hers).
The reason that she "took them to Cohen's Optical" was because they refused to come to me, she didn't do it out of spite. It makes sense in a weird, twisted sort of way. (I'm an eye doctor for those who don't know).
Messy divorce, I havent seen or spoken with my 15 year old since February, my 11 year old since June.
They have refused contact, they are blaming me for the divorce and a whole bunch of other things.
I am not blameless, I have done my share of yelling and screaming, but I have never been physically/sexually abusive and being cut out of their lives is in no way justified by anything I did when I was living home.
That much said, I met with my stbxw in therapy yesterday.
She acknowledges that this whole thing has gotten completely out of hand, that the children see me as some sort of "huge monster" and she is willing to do whatever it takes to reconnect them with me.
At one point during the session the therapist asked me to call the house and leave a message (the kids were home but they were not going to pick up). He wanted to see how I spoke to them during my calls to the house, which I have been doing 2-3x per week for almost a year.
During the call I broke down crying...I completed the call, and my stbxw was crying as well, and the therapist stated how its obvious how much I missed my children.
We have a meeting next week at a diner...it sounds weird I know...the therapist, myself, my stbxw, and my children.
The stbxw called me last night after the session. She said that when she saw me crying she realized how much I do love them and we should try to work together to get through this divorce as amicably as possible...for the sake of everyone but especially the kids.
So...we turned a page. Several more chapters to be written, but its moving in the right direction.
P.S. She said that she is having a very tough time with the kids. They dont listen to her, they argue with her about everything from going to bed at night, getting up for school in the morning, and about them chatting with strangers on the internet.
She acknowledges that while I was overbearing, at least I kept them in line, and now its like anarchy (thats my word, not hers).
The reason that she "took them to Cohen's Optical" was because they refused to come to me, she didn't do it out of spite. It makes sense in a weird, twisted sort of way. (I'm an eye doctor for those who don't know).