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Post by wizer on Mar 2, 2008 18:01:17 GMT -5
don't give up on her doc. She gave up on me. I gave it a year.
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Post by lumpy on Mar 2, 2008 18:11:35 GMT -5
don't give up on her doc. She gave up on me. I gave it a year. Fatherhood is a lifetime commitment, big guy. She's a female teeny-bopper. Try and consider that. I don't think there's a more emotional creature on the face of the earth.
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Post by kittenhart on Mar 2, 2008 18:23:51 GMT -5
idoc,
Keep sending the letters. It may seem futile right now, but it is not. In my experience, it is the ones that push you away the hardest, and are the most difficult (and frustrating) to be around, that need you to stay within reach, and stay around....so just stay around as best as you can with the letters...you don't need to keep apologizing anymore, as you have already, but keep expressing interest and wanting to contact her.
It will be worth it in the end....she will come around.
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Post by Saucy on Mar 2, 2008 18:53:16 GMT -5
she didnt give up on you. she just hasnt forgiven you yet. keep sending her your love. don't "kiss ass", but keep showing you still want to be apart of her life.
Lumpy's right, it may be hard to breakthrough any teenybopper right now, but everyone grows and with growth comes change.
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Post by wizer on Mar 2, 2008 20:29:27 GMT -5
She can get in touch with me any way, and any time she wants. My door is always open to her.
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Post by ionysis on Mar 3, 2008 4:30:50 GMT -5
Who's the grown up and who's the teenager??? You can see who she takes after!
Unfortunately you are a father - you don't have the option to sulk and be petulant and dig your heels in and say "FINE!!! If that's the way you want it......" Only children have that avenue open to them.
If you give up sending the letters then she'll be right about you. Can you deal with that?
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Post by wizer on Mar 3, 2008 10:32:04 GMT -5
If you give up sending the letters then she'll be right about you. Can you deal with that? Maybe I can.
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Post by freckles on Mar 3, 2008 10:36:38 GMT -5
If You are Nice all the Time to Everybody, your Kids see that
They will like you more
P.S. Kids like Candy/Ice Creme/Cake/Toys etc
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Post by rocko on Mar 3, 2008 10:54:14 GMT -5
When they kids dont' see you at all they can't see you being nice.
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Post by tiredofhiscrap on Mar 3, 2008 12:07:56 GMT -5
If you give up sending the letters then she'll be right about you. Can you deal with that? Maybe I can. It is sad to me to see you reaching out to her and her not taking you. My kids would kill for their father to want to be with them and he is to busy with drinking and whoring around to worry about his kids. Dont give up!! She will come around and she really wants to forgive you. So keep trying!
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Post by rocko on Mar 3, 2008 12:26:43 GMT -5
She will come around and she really wants to forgive you. So keep trying! I ditto that.
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Post by wizer on Mar 3, 2008 12:49:11 GMT -5
My younger daughter tells me she refers to me as "your father" when she talks to her about me. She says that her older sister is very angry and turns her friends away at the smallest thing. She's not ready for a relationship with me now, and yes, I am probably being stubborn, immature, and not a good father. I tried. Like I said, if she wants to pick up the phone one day, and maybe she will, especially when she realizes how crazy her mother is, then I will be there. My stbxw's older daughter from a first marriage went through the same exact thing with her own father, and after like a 5 year gap she contact him, and they speak regularly. She told me once that she realized belatedly that her mom told her lots of stuff about her father that just isn't true. I can't compete with the brainwashing, and I am not going to. It hurts too much to keep trying and I have my own battles to fight. Maybe when the divorce is done, hopefully by the end of this year.
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Post by ionysis on Mar 4, 2008 6:15:51 GMT -5
I'm sure you'd be a great father if you were given the chance - but as you say, you can't FORCE her. Teenagers are dreadful creatures at the best of times but she will come out of this phase and when she does I am sure it will mean everything to her if you persevere through this. "My stbxw's older daughter from a first marriage went through the same exact thing with her own father, and after like a 5 year gap she contact him, and they speak regularly. She told me once that she realized belatedly that her mom told her lots of stuff about her father that just isn't true." I'm sure that something similar will happen in your case too. I do hope things look up for you soon - this divorce seems to have been dragging on for such a long time.
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Post by wizer on Mar 4, 2008 10:32:02 GMT -5
I do hope things look up for you soon - this divorce seems to have been dragging on for such a long time. May 10 will be 2 years from the date that she hit me with a bogus Order of Protection and had me removed from the house. We reconciled a month or two later, by December of 2006 I had enough and I moved out for the last time. I filed for divorce February 2007. Yeah, it's been a long time. It can wear a person down.
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Post by wizer on Mar 5, 2008 16:09:37 GMT -5
A letter forwarded to me from my attorney, sent to him by my wife's attorney.
Verbatim: Please be advised that the parties' daughter is quite ill, losing a pound and a half a day, and had asked that her father please remain away.
Away?? I havent made an attempt to even call her or write her since the Christmas card and gift back in December, and one phone call from the psychologists office when he asked me to call them so he could listen to the conversation, and I actually broke down in tears when I said I missed them.
According to my younger daughter, even though my eldest has lost some weight, it's not nearly as dramatic as the attorneys have made it all out to be.
It's all justification for the wife to stay home and not work. But the part about me "staying away" at my daughter's "request". This is why I don't even try anymore.
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