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Post by rocko on Mar 24, 2008 14:39:08 GMT -5
It has been recommended for Kyle and his night terrors. I am trying not to use any meds just yet. I rub his feet to bring him out of the terrors. When Kori had night terrors when she was younger, I couldn't soothe her at all - my boss at the time was a psychologist, he told me any touches or input I give her will become part of the nightmare, so even a gentle touch could become in the nightmare either painful or scary. She wasn't really aware of her surroundings at all, and her thrashing gave her quite a few bruises until we learned about the restraint... One thing that DID help, and I can't tell you why - we would restrain her in front of the tv turned on. Even if it was an infomercial, eventually she fixated on it and calmed down, and when she started to really watch it we would know she was awake. Thank god she is done with those, at least! Shey I lost tons of hair bc he would attack me and I couldn't comfort him. Eventually I found that the feet rubbing helped. I dont' talk to him I just let him scream and rub his feet. It calms him somehow. It takes different things for different kids. They used to last for 4-6 hours....now only 45 minutes or so. Someone thought I was an abusive mother bc I couldnt' comfort my child when he was screaming at night. That was before I knew what they were. |
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Post by sheyd on Mar 24, 2008 14:44:22 GMT -5
Someone thought I was an abusive mother bc I couldnt' comfort my child when he was screaming at night. That was before I knew what they were. I thought she didn't love me or that she wasn't comfortable with me or something - I didn't understand why I couldn't help - it was horrible! I thought I could just "wake her up" - I didn't realize I was only making it worse for her. Yucky yucky stuff there. I hope your son grows out of them! Kori did, some do! Shey |
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Post by rocko on Mar 24, 2008 15:08:18 GMT -5
They used to be 5-7 nights a week. Now only a few times a month. Usually a few nights in a row...then they stop again. Thank God. I thought I was a bad mom...that person saying I was an abusive mother bc of that and bc the boys and I play rough made it worse. I am soooo glad I saw a professional and figured it out. It took a couple of years to find out that rubbing his feet worked for him.
I will pray for you all. You are a wonderful woman with an open mind. I am sure if there is a way you will figure it out.
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JC
Full Member
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Post by JC on Mar 24, 2008 15:19:40 GMT -5
shey- i hope you know that i dont think you are a bad mother.... we have talked about this a lot in the past, but i just wanted to put it HERE that i think you are a great mom- i know this is difficult for you.
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Post by sheyd on Mar 24, 2008 15:40:02 GMT -5
I do know that - but thank you - I never thought you had anyone but me and Kori at heart, and are just trying to help!
Shey
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Post by sheyd on Mar 25, 2008 10:25:20 GMT -5
Well, it was another hard night. Didn't help that in my tiredness I forgot to give her the melatonin...  I had her create lists of things that help you sleep. Three categories - Environment, Body, Mind. In environment we did things like, make sure it is not too hot or too cold, change the amount of light/dark, fluff the bed, make sure the sheets are clean, if it doesn't smell great spray some fabric freshener... In Body it was a listing of the types of relaxation exercises we talked about, stay in the bed, try keeping your eyes closed, or stare at the nightlight lamp shade, etc. Mind we had a listing of the mental exercises we have - tell yourself "I can go to sleep" or other positive talk, she made a list of good daydreams she can indulge in, etc. We will also add to these lists - I want her to have a good strong list of positive memories and thoughts. She was very excited about the list - re-read it as she was getting ready to fall asleep - kept it next to her bed so she didn't have to get out of bed to read it... 11:24 she comes yelling and running out of her room "I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go" - I ask her where does she not want to go to - she says "I don't know". I ask where she thinks she is (she is on my bed at this time) "I don't know" she didn't know if she had to go potty - so I said to go sit and see - she did have to go. I asked if her bed was comfy, she didn't know so I had her check - even after going into her room "I don't know". Hysterics, mussing her own hair with clenched fists, freaking out... She was mad at herself because she ruined everything and it is too late because she got out of her bed so the list wouldn't work anymore. I explained that nothing will be perfect, it is ok if she gets out of bed (some of the suggestions are even to go downstairs and either read or watch tv to stop the bad mind cycles) but it was still somehow ruined and wouldn't work. After stomping and slamming doors we told her to go downstairs (which earlier she had asked if she could sleep on the couch, and we said yes if she woke up in the night) she couldn't do that either, now she was afraid. "I hate this list, I hate everything" So Harry was going to go down with her and watch some tv until she cooled off, but she didn't want that either - she finally just went into her bed, cried for less than a minute, and was back to sleep - and this morning she remembers NONE of it, except that she remembers running around - she knew she got out of bed, and that she was upset. And she remembers other dreams, but not anything about where she was going to go away where she didn't want to. Harry's thought is that she has some abandonment issues and is trying to get my attention, however she can. Except that I GIVE her attention, all the time- I can't make this better for her. I think he is right, but I think it has to do with her daddy moving 3 1/2 hours away. (Which I talked to him about this morning - they ARE planning on moving back, but that is set for 2 years from now - 2 YEARS.. ugh) My ex is also worried about the melatonin because his wife (a doc) says to her it is like steroids (not sure where that comes from)- and we don't even know if her melatonin levels were low. He also worries because melatonin can be hard on the kidneys, and Koriana only has one. However, her kidney works fine and is slightly large, so it works as well as two (we had her tested at just under 2 years old). I am so exhausted today. Counselor tonight... I am tired of all of this, I just want her happy! Shey |
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